Screw you. Screw America. I went "all-in" with millions of my own money because I knew you suckers would keep sending me money as long as I was in the race.
That's why I'm still in this thing - just in case, and to scrape as much dough from the poor saps who support me whom are too stubborn or too dim to see what a basically dishonest and devious person I am.
And if anyone ever manages to make the case to the right audience that with all these "misspoken" incidences I have committed, it would appear rather obvious that I am not qualified to hold the presidential stapler, let alone the office, we'll write another book or 3 about it all and come back again after the short-term memory limits kick in.
Ah, you see, I'm smarter than all of you. I know that America refuses to see things as clearly as they are when that means facing harsh realities. Hell, if what happened in Florida in 2000 had occurred almost anywhere else in the world, people would have rioted until they got a full recount. In Florida, USA they marched until they got moved out of the news cycle and then went home. I do love me some Florida I tell ya!
And it's precisely that apathetic detachment that I know will in the end allow me to steal this thing.
And if I'm wrong, heh, there's always 2012 or 2016, and money is no issue because all of you will be paying, either by donation or by buying my next books.
Anybody know where I can find a bunch of dalmation puppies and/or some homeless people with some great tattoos? I need a new coat, and a lamp-shade for my office at the Senate, you know, the one that Kennedy used to have before he was assassinated.
[note: no animals or homeless people were harmed in the making of this diary, that we know of]