WASHINGTON (May 22)-- The 670,422 pages of medical records provided by Republican presidential candidate John McCain have provided "a wealth of data concerning life in ancient civilizations," according to archaeologists familiar with the project.
"The records are a find," one scientist said. "The apparent practice of the era was to bury the medical records for the journey to the afterlife, along with some single-malt Scotch and a Lexus."
Physicians at the site added that McCain was in excellent shape, considering his age.