You know, sometimes you just can not make stuff like this up. I got this letter from the RNC begging for donations. But it was not just that. It was begging for me to renew with the RNC. Since I never gave them any money before, I was intrigued.
After the jump are two pictures of the letter (redacted as to my real name and address) and the full verbiage of my response. I recommend that you read the pictures first, but it is not necessary since I hit the high points in my reply. I was unable to embed a .pdf, so the pictures were the best that I could do.
This letter was repulsive. Here is the picture of it:
Here is the text of my reply. I offer no further comment here, but would be happy to hear any that ye may have.
25 May 2008
Tim Morgan
RNC Treasurer
Republican National Committee
310 First Street NE
PO Box 96994
Washington, DC 20077-7556
Dear Mr. Morgan:
I am in receipt of you letter dated "Wednesday Morning" (a very stupid excuse for a date, by the way) asking if I have "abandoned" the offensive political party for which you shill. I never was associated with your party and its foul policies, so it is not possible for me to abandon it.
You indicate that your records show that the RNC has not yet received my membership renewal. You are incorrect. Never being associated with the RNC makes it impossible for me to renew any membership that never existed.
Then you go on to say how generously I supported he who will certainly be remembered in history as the very worst President ever, George Bush. I suggest that you correct your database, because I never gave a cent towards assisting this insult to the White House, and NEVER voted for this atrocity.
Then you warn me that if I do not provide "financial assistance" there is "so much at stake" and that the Democrats are determined to put a "liberal" like Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama in the White House and expand their majorities in the House and Senate. I say, excellent, if by not helping the RNC this is more of a certainty.
Then you try to scare me with terms like "Big Labor", "radical protest groups", and (gasp!) "Hollywood elites"! Sir, I maintain that the patron saint of the Republicans, the extremely disgusting Ronald Reagan, was a "Hollywood elite" even though he was also a hack actor and poor President, just not as clueless as the present one, even though he was suffering from Alzheimer’s Disease.
You continue on the second page to suggest that if "we", presumably you Republicans, fail to hold the White House and make gains in the Congress, that the Democrats "have made clear that they will overturn every reform[sic] you helped President Bush achieve". I surely do hope that they overturn those "reforms" like tax breaks for the ultra wealthy, a war of occupation in Iraq brought about under false pretenses (actually, outright lies), and four dollar a gallon gasoline. Go figure, what did any thinking person believe when a failed oil man from Texas became the most powerful person in the world?
I am finished refuting your typical Republican talking points, ones that are extremely weak. Now I will address your accuracy, tactics, and ethics.
First, you did not even get my title right. It is "Dr." Redacted, not "Mr.". Here is a suggestion: when begging for money, do not insult the person from whom you are begging. It is not a very effective strategy. But strategy is not a strong Republican point, viz., our involvement in Iraq.
Second, it is tactically foolish to send out cold letters for donations to those who have never donated, and then to supply a business reply envelope. I would not have bothered to respond to your plea, but since you presented me with the opportunity to cost the RNC even more money, I am more than happy to respond. I have the satisfaction of knowing that, even if this response is never read, you have paid once to send me the begging letter, and now you are paying again for me to send you this reply. There is justice sometimes after all!
Finally, your ethics are questionable. Actually, it is a lack of ethics that so typifies the Republican Party that is of concern. How did you get my name in the first place? I have never registered to vote as a Republican, and have never voted for a Republican. I have never contributed to any Republican candidate nor to the RNC, nor will I. But your letter does not just imply, it states explicitly that I have contributed before. Let me tell you what I believe.
I believe that you bought my name and address from the same folks that sold it to AARP. This makes sense, because a letter that states that I have contributed to you before implies that I might have forgotten doing so and will send money to you right away. I believe that your offensive group, the Republican Party, would not hesitate to take advantage of "seniors" who might have some cognitive difficulties.
But that is the base of Mr. Twentysomething’s favorable ratings. But it is not necessarily "seniors" who suffer from this cognitive dysfunction, since most of his base are, except for, in his words, "The haves and the have mores", but also people of all ages who believe that this individual is adequate.
Therefore, I disrespectfully decline to send any money to the RNC. I do not want the madman McCain elected, and the more Democratic increases in the House, the Senate, and at the state level, the better. Please feel free to send more mailings at your expense so I can respond.
Never any regards,
Dr. Redacted
Redacted
Redacted, AR Redacted
Warmest regards, Doc.