If you were a hired gun for one of the candidates in this year's presidential election, what advice would you give each candidate?
I'm especially curious to see what suggestions Kossacks might have for McCain.
I'll start things off...
Shadowy, ethically dubious campaign adviser Tosser offers some '08 tips for Sen. Barack Obama:
Dump your "50 State" strategy like a live hand grenade if you don't see dramatic improvement in longshot state poll numbers very quickly. Texas isn't going to go your way. Sorry.
Too late for this one, but you shouldn't have referred to a "50 State" strategy when what you're really pursuing is simply an expanded electoral map. By doing so, you run the risk of looking weak when you follow my previous advice and pull resources out of hopeless states.
While your "working class white voter" problem is overstated, your trouble with older voters is not. Show the 65 and older set a little more attention. McCain may be one of them, but I doubt too many seniors are chomping at the bit to "reform" Social Security or are willing to go along with McCain's privitization agenda out of generational solidarity.
Don't be afraid to show off your kids. The insane level of cuteness will help with older women. Trust me on this one.
Hit McCain hard on vererans' issues. McCain doesn't handle criticism of any kind well, and he's especially defensive in this area, as evidenced by his Incredible Hulk impersonation after you called him out on his Webb GI Bill position.
You're 100% right in your belief that some of your peers dishonor the flag when they wear it on their lapels as they walk into the Senate chamber to cast votes that screw veterans. You're also right in your belief that you don't have to dress up like Uncle Sam to be a patriot. Having said that, just wear the damn pin.
No more rejecting, no more denouncing.
Now, the fun part. Tosser's advice to Sen. John McCain:
Make nice with the conservative media. I know this is difficult, since many of them hate your guts, but you's be surprised how far a little ass kissing can go in smoothing out a candidate's relationship with reporters, talking heads and pundits. After all, it worked on the MSM.
Once you and the right wing media agree to get on the same page, pick a narrative about your opponent and stick with it. Is he an effete, cork sniffing limousine liberal? A slick, coke sniffing black hustler? A radical cracker snuffing "Barack X"? You can try to paint Obama as any of the current caricatures floating around the conservative media, but trying to tar him as all three will simply create cognitive dissonance.
Obama's associations with controversial people are not helpful to his campaign, but they're not his fatal Achilles heel, either. Wright broke way too early and there's not very much linking Obama to Rezko or Ayers. Tread this ground with caution, especially with the Wright stuff. The MSM is extremely sensitive to accusations of race baiting, and there is a real danger of having overly provocative ads backfire.
Get a massage. Pick up some Wes Montgomery records. Squeeze a stress ball. Meditate. Do whatever you have to do to get your temper under control. The MSM may like your barbecues, war stories and jokes, but that won't stop them from jumping on you if you have one of the spectacular meltdowns you're famous for out on the trail. This is a Presidential election, and your base couldn't cover for you even if they wanted to. One word: "Youtube".