Like most addictions, it started slowly. Now, however, I'm a full-fledged Kos-aholic. I don't get nearly enough work done because I"m in Orangeland, reading about who should be VP or what's happening with FISA. I obsessively refresh the pages, I've got the "recent diary" count set to 50 so I don't miss any breaking words of wisdom or funny snark, and I cannot resist chiming in for more than about an hour.
I try to break away. I try to work. I give myself time limits.
It is no use.
I AM AN ADDICT!
I do not know how to quit. Perhaps November will bring relief?
At first, I didn't touch the hard stuff. I only read the newspapers and then, slowly, I got most of my news from the pages of the MSM webpages. Still, it was a manageable thing. Get up in the a.m., clean up my e-mail inbox first, then do a quick perusal of cnn.com. Swallow the b.s they wanted me to hear and go about my business.
Then the primary started and I discovered blogs. I started out slow on TPM, tried DU for a while. I did not feel at home. I was able to still get work done, because these sites had some interesting content, but only held my interest for an hour a day, max. Then I found real clear politics -- that got me amped up a little longer -- it could take another hour to read all those articles, but a lot of them were just the same old rehash of what was on cnn.com. I was able to fight the pull and get back to work.
Then I landed on Kos. It was like when the kid who was just drinking beer gets pulled behind the school by the scumbag dealer and told to "just try a little hit of this white powder, dude". Oh, Nirvana! Witty diaries, written by fascinating people. Even wittier comments. Well informed, thoughtful people who really care about the same things I care about. People who know who Monty Python is and understand why the knight with his arms and legs cut off was funny and was indeed reminiscent of the recent last holdout in the Democratic primary. People who like cats (or pooties, as I've learned to refer to them.) People going through the same things I have, like cancer in their parents, or loss of a pet. People WAY smarter than me telling me how to figure out what is REALLY going on in politics and how I didn't need to freak out when Barack Obama, my personal hero, was getting dissed in Appalachia.
I suck it up like a junkie who finds the secret stash of the dealer.
I try to work, finding somebody who probably won't buy a house this year a house anyway (I'm a Realtor, and trust me, it's depressing work these days.) I tell myself I must search for the 3 bedroom house with the ocean view for $200,000 that the client wants (Ha ha, hasn't existed since 1979, but it's the only client I've got.) I tell myself "Search for 1 hour, then you can have 10 minutes of Kos". The 10 minutes easily drifts into 20 before I drag myself back to the Multiple Listing System.
I try not to look before noon. It's like my ex-husband telling me that starting the day with Harvey Wallbangers was ok because they were mostly orange juice. It is not possible for one in an active addiction to start the day without a hit. I sneak a peek. Oh no, there's a post by Kos himself! "Must read must read must read must read" the tiny addict voice demands.
To make up for the tremendous amount of time lost to this obsession, I have now started to have to stay up late. However, when I am tired, I do not want to do work. I want to read Kos. It is a vicious cycle.
I am grateful that Hillary finally suspended her campaign. Just reading everyone's opinion about when she would finally do so and how she would go out (on a rail? with a bang? with a whimper?) cost me precious hours of sleep. Thankfully, she did it gracefully, or I would have another lost week or so to read the vilifying remarks of the many witty Kossacks.
My only hope is that with a landslide win by Barack Obama and the Democrats in November, I will be able to return to normal. I have a sneaking suspicion, though, that this may be permanent......
update: forgot the words "and the Democrats" above. Also forgot to mention this is my first diary. Hope I made someone laugh.