an eighth of an inch. That's how big the brain tumor was when they discovered it. The tumor was inoperable, too close to the brain stem.
After checking that it had not metastasized from another location, a biopsy was scheduled.
We asked mom if she wanted a second opinion. The Mayo clinic is only a few hours away but no, she was comfortable with her doctors and, she was a nurse for 40 years. So we let it go.
Now I've been trying to get my parents to get their affairs in order without much luck but this did it. They got powers of attorney for health care and finance set up. Talked about wills, and waited.
Mom never made it to the biopsy, at suppertime a few days before her appointment my father called to tell me mom had fallen and had stroke like symptoms. I wanted to be there with him but he asked me to wait until they knew more. An hour or so later he called to tell me they were flying her to a larger hospital. I told him I'd pack a bag and be right down. I arrived just after the helocopter took off and we drove to the hospital.
The Neurologist' report was crushing. The tumor had caused a large bleed in her brain, pressure was building, very small chance of significant recovery, and there was still an inoperable tumor. By the next morning her ability to respond was gone and we had to make some decisions for her based on our belief of what she would want and what she had outlined in her power of attorney for health care. I haven't had to deal with end of life issues until now and this was really my fathers decision though he refused to make it without our (the children's) input.
We decided with mom's directives to provide comfort only. I still wonder if it was the right decision but I think it was. So, mom was transfered to a nursing care facility near home for end of life care. The family gathered round and kept her company, held her hand, and my young daughters crawled right into bed with her and gave her hugs. She died early one morning about two weeks after her stroke. We were sitting with her, talking politics actually.
We spent the next two days planning the funeral, going through insurance, retirement, and bank accounts. I was relieved at how well prepared my parents were and they were fortunate to have a comfortable retirement and excellent medicare replacement insurance.
I miss my mom and I worry about my dad living alone but things are going well. I don't know if ther is a god but if there is, that's where mom is.
There's no real point to this diary, I guess it's just a story I needed to tell. If you read it through, thank you. Enjoy the people you love, they are always taken too soon.
5:28pm CDT, Update: Thank you all so much for your kind thoughts. I wish the best to you all and most especially those who have gone or are going through similar situations.