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On Tuesday night, InsultComicDog posted one of the funniest diaries in a long time.  John McCain's forward-thinking campaign crew decided he needed one them intertubes websight doohickies, and they set up a swag store too.

But technology isn't McCain's strength.  The store had a "feature" that allowed potential customers to write product reviews.  So Insult's recommended diary called out some of the jaw-dropping critiques people left about the McCain Golf Kit.  Plus there was snarkilicious commentary in the comments, including other product reviews.  Good thing it's there; yesterday morning McCain's tubesmeister took down all the reviews and the ability to post them.

Yet one product, all by itself, perfectly captures the epic fail of all that is McCain.  Permission is granted to come aboard, so click over to learn why the $200 McCain Nautical Lapel Pin shows the campaign isn't so ship-shape.

Ahoy! John McCain served his country as a Navy pilot.  What a great idea to remind his supporters of his service, as well as allow them to signal their inside support using nautical flag symbols?  The pin shown above shows the three flags that spell J-S-M, McCain's initials.

But some yachties actually understand nautical signal flags.  They aren't just used for the alphabet, the flags also refer to ship conditions.  John McCain dressed his campaign ship with these flags, so what is he signalling to us?

The McCain Nautical Lapel Pin can be yours for only $200!  
But what does it actually mean?  Let's look at the flags and find out!

The "J" for John is the Juliett flag, which means I am on fire and have dangerous cargo; keep clear.  Shiver me timbers!  The man is waving a flag under our noses that he's got weapons of mass destruction!

The "S" for Sidney is the Sierra flag, with three meanings.  Internationally, it means Moving astern, sailor talk for to the back.  A person can move to the rear (stern) of a boat, but the vessel itself moves backwards relative to the fleet. The Naval meaning is Conducting flag hoist drill, such as hanging up a "Mission Accomplished" banner.  Finally the Sailing Regatta definition is Shorten Course, which is probably danged good advice for a 72-year-old scow who thinks he can keep up with the racing rigs.

Finally, the M for McCain uses the Mike flag.  Mike usually means My vessel is stopped; making no way.  Avast! Stopped it is!  But the Sailing Regatta definition also makes its mark, namely Mark Missing.  Hard to run a race when you have no idea where you next waypoint is.  Jibe Ho!

In conclusion, the John McCain nautical flag lapel pin tells us his vessel is burning down, has terrorist cargo, intends to move back the 19th century while flag-waving and cutting corners, but is currently dead in the water and can't follow the course.  Sounds like this campaign is completely on message!

Originally posted to madhaus on Thu Jun 12, 2008 at 08:54 AM PDT.

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