The new Republican meme has been launched: High gasoline prices are because of the dirty hippie environmentalists keeping the good Christian oil companies from their sacred drilling.
This is a coordinated launch with fully synchronised flip-flops from Jeb Bush, Gov. Crist, Sen. Martinez and, of course, John McCain. It is a bit troubling because I believe it will have some resonance with beak-pokers. I think it is important to have a counter-meme of equal or greater effect, and I may have an idea on that.
Beak-pokers? I'll get to that too.
The notion that if only the moratorium on new offshore leases were ended and ANWAR were opened, gasoline would again be cheap is very, very flawed. To find those flaws one could look at the lack of availability of offshore drilling equipment, or the fact that oil companies must have undeveloped reserves on their books to support their stock value regardless of current record profits, or one could look at the current worldwide production of about 87 MMBBL/Day and the projected future demand and compare that to the production rates and schedules for these various projects and judge the likely effect on worldwide oil prices. This investigation would have to be done against the backdrop of speculation in the futures market and the essential fungibility of oil and natural gas. The overall effect on gasoline prices of removing the offshore moratorium and opening ANWAR would be long term and marginal.
Now, just try to explain any of that to a beak-poker. Go ahead, I dare you....oh yea, I forgot to mention that part:
A little over a year ago through a series of improbable and slightly tragic events I came into the possession (became the possession) of a wonderful little Senegal Parrot named Digby (after the blogger). One of the nice suprises of avian companionship is discovering how smart and engaging these highly social birds are. Anyway, an exotic bird store that I frequent for Digby's food, toys, and supplies always has a nice variety of hand-raised birds out on display. This is actually beneficial to the birds as they become better socialized by interacting with the customers. Almost all of the birds are just babies, some still being hand fed formula, but sometimes an older bird is among the youngsters and Harley is one of those. Harley is a Blue and Gold Macaw who is a little over eight years old and is looking to be re-homed after a tough childhood. Harley has been neglected and abused and this has made him a little aggressive.
For obvious liability reasons the shop has put "I bite hard" warning signs on Harley's perch. Over the past several weeks I've tried to do my little part in Harley's rehabilitation. Little by little I've gain his trust and he will now offer his head to me for scratches and just this week stepped up to my arm for the first time, which was something of a personal triumph. The real accomplishment though, was Harley's because his good heart is not only overcoming the abuse of his previous home but the continued annoyances of the beak-pokers.
Every time I visit this shop there is a constant stream of people, many of whom own and care for parrots of their own, walk up to Harley's perch, read the sign out loud and proceed to poke their finger at his beak. An act any bird owner knows will provoke a bite in even well adjusted birds. What in the hell are these people thinking? The answer is, they're not.
The sad, sad truth of our society is that we are chock full of beak-pokers. It is something we must all, human and avian alike, deal with.
Later that day I was discussing the issues of global oil markets, politics, and beak-pokers with a dear friend, and perhaps the only person I know who can fold these seeming disparate topics together without batting an eye and we came up with a framing of the "Great Oil Issue of Nought Eight", one that even beak-pokers can get their minds around:
Finish what's on your plate.
There is no "ban" on offshore drilling, there is a moratorium on new leases. There are hundreds of leases and permits already issued that are not being developed and any ol' beak-poker knows that you can't get seconds until you finish what's on your plate. There may come a time when the oil under ANWAR will be extracted, but you can't have dessert until you finish what's on your plate. It's easy to remember and something virtually every American has heard and understands. "You can't have new offshore leases until you produce the leases that you have...and when you're done with that, then we can talk about your ANWAR dessert."
Make any new leases contingent on producing oil and gas from the leases that they have. Try that out on a beak-poker near you and see how it flys. If there were legislation requiring the development of existing leases before the issuance of new leases will probably have little effect because of the requirement of oil companies to keep some reserves and because of the limitations on drilling equipment worldwide but it is a reasonable and more importantly a simple idea. Couple this with reform on futures trading that could shake maybe $30 to $40 of speculation out of the price in the short term and we have a solid counter to the Rep meme.
First, stop the shennannigans (futures trading reform) and second, finish what's on your plate.