I don't really as a rule do personal diaries, but I'm so sick of the hand wringing, teeth gashing, second guessing and over all wailing about FISA, Clark and Obama.
So here I am writing something different, even personal in the perhaps vain hope that it will get people to talk and write about something new.
Having thought about the complexity and volume of the issue, I am going to break up this discussion about Buddhism into a couple parts
So follow me below the fold and learn about Buddhism and me.
edit: Orginally the plan was to write all about me and Buddhism at once but that was not pratical and I didn't want to assume everyone knows the history and teachings of Buddhism.
Thus the first part here is just the history, tomorrow (or rather that's my goal) I will go into the teachings and then on Thursday will be my experiences as by then I'll hopefully have laid enough background to talk about Buddhism without confusing people or telling them to go else where to read about it
Any proper explaination of Buddhism must, like almost anything else, start at the begining. And thus I will devote this dairy to the man known as Siddhartha Gautama who would later in life come to be known as the Buddha. And in doing so hope to explain partially why it is that we're still studying and praticing what he experiencd and taught over 2,500 years ago in India.
For brevity and for the sake of my fingers I am going to just refer to the Buddha for now as "Sid" (because until he reached enlightenment that is who he was).
Sid's father was the ruler of a small kingdom, located either in Northern India or Southern Nepal (the specifics are not clear but they are functionally really the same thing). Sid's mother (who was the ruler's first wife) died shortly after Sid was born.
Now the legend of Sid starts actually at his birth, as the story goes a sage (who today would be probably an astrologist) who was either drawn to Sid's birth by a vision or was employed by Sid's father and drew up Sid's future (though astrology); chance or not the sage saw that the child would grow up to be a great spirtual master or a powerful warrior king.
Now Sid's parents (reacting probably as any parents would) decided that they just couldn't let him leave as in those days to become a great spirtual master meant who wouldn't inherit and as he was thier only son that was a big deal, or be around the family much or really any of the things they (his parents) wanted him to do.
So instead his parents conspired together to keep him secluded, the family owned three beautiful palaces and made sure that Sid rarely had cause to leave them. They surrounded Sid with only people that were young and healthy; and as he grew into young adulthood, it said that he was surrounded by beautiful young women and that he had access to any pleasure he wanted.
Things were going according to the plan his parents set and Sid till his early 20s never thought to question the life around him. But as Sid grew up, eventually he came to feel like a prisoner as he couldn't go any where without lots of guards and without a lot of pompt and circumstance as his father had standing orders that when Sid traveled the guards had to clear ahead the sick, the elderly, anyone that might cause Sid to question the bubble around him. Thus Sid managed to convince an attendent one day to slip out of the palace and vist a nearby town.
This in turn set into motion events that would change Sid's life forever, this change started with Sid experiencing what is known as 'The Four Messengers'.
What 'The Four Messengers' is, is essentailly Sid for the first time in his life come face to face with all the things wrong in the world.
The first messenger was sickness and disease, for the first time Sid saw that people that disease and illness not only existed but realized that it was something that everyone got and that included him.
Think about how overwhelming that must have felt to Sid who had grown up without any experience with sickness and disease.
And thus was born the first message: We all eventually get sick or experience disease; it is the nature of the body.
Sid's second shock came when he saw his first very old and frail person, whose body was deterioting, skin was sagging and hair falling out. The real shock came when his attendent confirmed that is what happens to all people.
And thus we have the second message: We all get old; this is the natural process of life.
At this point one could imagine that the very foundations of Sid's world have been shaken as he had been confronted with things he never even thought existed and realized his mortality for the first time. But the further shocks were to come.
The third messenger was when the encountered a corpse and Sid (who has never seen or heard or even thought about death) was confronted with the very real fact that he would die just like everyone else. Now remember this is before embalming and caskets, this was a corpse like you would find of say an animal. Sid's attendent further informed him that not only would he die, but that it would happen again and again and again and again. As reincarnation was the popular persepective at the time and it affirms that when one dies the essence of the person is continually reborn.
And thus we have the third message: Every body dies, but existence continues
Now at this point one could only guess at Sid's reaction but I would say that I would be more then a little pissed about all these things that had been hidden from me.
It was during the trip home that Sid saw the last messenger, a wandering spirtual seeker. Sid, having never seen one before inquired about what the guy in robes was doing and learned that it was a sadhu, someone who has dedicated his/her life to understanding life and death. A person in search of understanding reality. Sid realized that as soon as he saw this sadhu that he was going to to search for a solution for this endless cycle of birth and death. This realization also gave Sid a new sense of hope and faith.
Thus the fourth message is: He vowed to overcome suffering and to awaken to the Truth
Now at the time Sid was recently married but it should be understand that it was an arranged marriage but he left anyways determined to find a solution not just for himself but for others. Thus his decesion was not a selfish one but an altrustic sacerfice.
Now if you're still reading this, I'm going to (for brevity's sake) skip over alot of the history here; it's largely not important and you can find books that go more in depth into Sid's search for the truth.
It is sufficent to say that over the course of years (maybe even decades) Sid tried every method known at the time to reach enlightenment. He learned yoga, mantras , learned theories of existence ranging from existing forever to nonexistence after death. And yet after learnign everything a particular master had to offer it still wasn't enough. Because while his concentration held he experienced mediative experiences ranging from bliss to complete nonexistence when his concentration wore off he was still suffering still subject to the attachment of pleasure and the averision to pain.
Thus Sid's next idea was to break his body's identification though self-moritification. Again I'm only going to go briefly over this but basically Sid starved himself, tortured himself and tried to find freedom though extreme renunication practices.
But that too failed to free him and now close to starvation and still totally commited to freeing himself; Sid reflected on a childhood experience of finding himself at peace under a tree.
Thus after recovering his strenght a little, Sid resolved to sit underneath a tree and stay there till he could see though the confusion in his mind. He was not going to move till he had freed himself from all forms of misidentification, attachments and averision.
Now what happens in here is that a demon known as Mara shows up to tempt Sid (I regaurd this as the manifestation of an internal battle) and there are other books again that go into more detail. But the important thing is that in the end Sid's iron will carried the day and he (Sid) was able to see though it all and break his cycle.
And thus the man known as Siddhartha Gautama was no more and the Buddha was born in a way.
This will end this installment, next (for those curious) I will talk about the path the Buddha created and the teachings he spread.
Thank you for reading