It was early 1996. I was 16 years old, very very impressionable. A sophomore in high school and my cumulative political exposure was my best friend at the time (whose father was a staunchly anti union conservative) and my Economics teacher who was, shockingly, a staunchly anti liberal conservative.
I am ashamed to admit, for the first time ever, that in early 1996 I supported Bob Dole because the only sources of information I had told me to.
...when I was a sheep.
Luckily there is a reason that 16 year olds don't vote. We'll continue this journey after the fold.
So, luckily at 16 my potential Bob Dole vote did not count. Actually, by the time it was November 1996 my stance had changed. It went from "I'm for Bob Dole" to "Holy crap alcohol is fun...I don't give a crap". The election came and went, Bill Clinton was re-elected, and I couldn't have cared less.
...when I was a sheep
The years of 1997, 1998, and 1999...um, good years of course. But not some of my prouder times. Many fun but ill advised moments. Didn't give a crap about politics. Bill went into office, kind of got impeached, kind of got un-impeached. We had a few foreign involvements that at the time bored me but these days fascinate me. I was checked out and more concerned about getting a dime than getting a clue.
...when I was a sheep
The 2000 Presidential election was really the first time that I become truly cognizant of politics. Not because a friend and trusted teacher wanted me to. But because I actually noticed what was going on. And yet I still was one of the flock...
You see, George W Bush disgusted me. But I really thought there was no way that the country would elect somebody so clearly borderline mentally challenged. Which in retrospect makes me feel bad for slighting the borderline mentally challenged. As in recent years I've met so many inspiring handicapped who I feel 100% would be better Presidents than George W Bush.
But Al Gore at the time just didn't inspire me. I was still young, and I was still impressionable. Some of the group of friends I was with had become Green party activists. They got in my head. Convinced me that since Bush was going to win Indiana by 30 points, a vote for Gore was a throw-away. Instead, they said I should vote for Nader in hopes that he could achieve enough votes to make ballot access easier going forward. I bought it. For one of the first times ever in public, I admit that I voted for Ralph Nader in 2000.
...when I was a sheep
Bush won. I was aghast. I ranted and hoped and prayed that the Florida recount would succeed. It didn't.
Then on September 11th, 2001 I had the shit damn near literally scared out of me. And I joined the flock once more.
In the months that passed I did my best to be what at the time counted for a patriotic American. I had the flag clinging to my car. Had it flying from my antennae. Was there with so many others talking bullshit about a new post-9/11 politics. I supported my country and for a while even ate shit and said I supported my President. I was not the least bit involved in the 2002 mid-term elections. At the time I didn't even think. I did what I had done in 2000 and went and voted. This time I voted 100% Democrat instead of 98% Democrat. But I never even said a word in support of our side or in condemnation of the liberties that were being stolen from me. Didn't get it in the least.
...when I was a sheep
2004 came and damn if I didn't have my crap together. I'd long given up on Bush's promises of bipartisanship. We somehow turn a justified mission in Afghanistan to an illegal one in Iraq and I'm off the bus. I had never really become involved in actual work in politics but I was excited. I was fast on my way to becoming a Deaniac.
Then, it was over. Less than steller results out of the gate. The establishment told me I was wrong. If I wanted to win, I had to accept that the young upstart couldn't be our nominee. That it had to be an elder statesman who would just walk into the White House. I believed it.
...when I was a sheep
What I got was a demoralizing candidate in John Kerry who by the end of the election had almost annoyed me more than Bush. At least I expected incompetence and stupidity out of Bush. I thought Kerry should know better. He let himself get swift boated, let the opposition define who he was, and then phoned it in. In my opinion. I was there. I advocated for Kerry and bear minimum helped out. A little phonebanking here and there but I was just saying words. I didn't really believe that the man who stood so bravely against unjust war was still the man that stood before me. Bush won, tears were shed, and I and everybody else lost.
By 2006 I had more than enough. I was more involved than ever. I started reading this site during the run up to the 2004 election but it was the 2006 mid terms where I really woke up. The most local direct way I could help out was to remove Mike Sodrel from Congress. I realize that Baron Hill is not the best representative ever, but I'd like to think his recent FISA surprise owed a lot to the network of liberal activists who took on his cause in 2006. Bye bye Mike, hello Baron. Hello Congress. Hello Senate.
...2006 was really when I stopped being a damned sheep
And that brings us to 2008. I started out like a lot of you supporting Senator Edwards. When he was gone and it came down to Hillary vs Obama it was an easy decision. Obama was saying the right things and Clinton had scum floating all around her. I became involved, did my fair share of phonebanking both in Indiana before the primary and at other times when the Obama campaign astutely made use of "work from home" 'bankers prior to our primary. I did my best and I like to think I had a tiny hand in the shock of the close Indiana results.
The problem is, Senator Obama, I'm not a sheep anymore. And because of that I have this natural aversion to being used. And lately, you've been annoying the hell out of me.
I get it about FISA and the reality of election year politics, I really do. I just think you've got it all wrong. The bill as it includes immunity is unacceptable. You yourself have said you will vote to strip immunity out. All you needed to do was say you will support any actions to remove immunity. Vote to remove? Check. Filibuster? Check. Then when those actions (sadly) almost inevitably fail...vote against the damn bill. If you are resolute in your explanation and as inspired about it as you were on the campaign stump, you can communicate that to voters without giving the GOP a field day.
Case in point, what to do in that situation where Immunity is stripped and you still have to vote on the rest of the crap should have been an absolute last consideration. A bridge not crossed until you got there. There was no reason to piss off so many of your supporters as you did for a scenario that there was maybe a 2% chance of you having to deal with.
I can swallow that I guess. But then comes along General Clark. Who simply speaks truth. Being shot down as a fighter pilot is not a qualification for President. If it were, the line of those who survived such things in their life would be surprisingly long. And not to earn my own rejection by the Obama campaign...but being a POW isn't a qualification either.
I'm not one to go after McCain's military record because every time he opens his mouth and speaks he does more good than any trash talking from me could cause. But six years in the Hanoi Hilton does not a qualification make. It's a tragic war crime that an American citizen endured. Medals and respect and the whole nine yards...yes. Qualification to have direct command over our nuclear arsenal...no.
So I'm starting to sense a pattern. For a group that spent so much time in the primary convincing me they were ready to kick some teeth in...they're sure proving to be awful careful footed.
Not saying I will not vote for Barack Obama for President. He would have to literally shoot someone I love in the face to get me to vote for John McCain. But my enthusiasm and my support are also not free. There's a difference between '00 Gore (even though his work since has made me love him and wish THIS Gore could have run then) or '04 Kerry (even though he too has become a much more admirable person since then...again, wish '08 Kerry was running in '04) level of motivation and the feelings that '04 Dean, '08 Edwards, and dare I say it pre-Clinton concession '08 Obama inspired. One gets a vote, some work, and maybe a little money if I can scrap it up. The other gets a vote, a lot of work, and probably every penny I can spare until the giving is over.
So here's the gauntlet I'm throwing down. I will not say I'm not going to work for Senator Obama. A flawed bought and paid for Barrack Obama is still a good 10 times better than the most romantic John McCain the media can make up. But I have yet to give Obama $1. In fact, I'm not ashamed to admit that being mostly poor for most of my life...I've never given a single politician $1. I've made calls, knocked on a few doors, talked to a LOT of friends and co-workers...but never a dime.
So to Senator Obama I offer this. The first time that you actually take a stand that I truly feel is the work of a real progressive...$25 is yours. I know that isn't a lot of money, but it's about the best I can possibly do today. Gas is $4, every other bill I have is double what it was just years ago, I'm having trouble getting by. But as soon as you make a stand that I feel I can stand with as a progressive and be proud of...$25 is yours.
Because I can accept swallowing a little shit here and there if it really helps you out. I can even look past you demeaning people I admire if doing so really helps you win. But to carry that water and shovel that shit...I need a little something.
It could be one of many things. Come out in 100% support of medical marijuana. Come out in 100% support of civil unions and make a promise to give every gay couple in this country, at a bare minimum and clearly only as a start to the process, the right to everything that married couples take for granted. Hospital visitation, damn it, just freaking legal existence of their relationship. The choice is yours. I just ask for something new from you that gives me any confidence you will be a true progressive when you get into office. Because if you can't even do that, then it makes me wonder.
...have I been a sheep all along?
Prove me wrong Barack. Prove me wrong, please.