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"I have seen the light", a chastened General Wesley Clark stated as he resigned from his unofficial position as an Obama defense advisor and announced his formation of the "DRAFT DUKE CUNNINGHAM FOR VP" campaign.  Clark admitted that he had miscalculated the very clear connection between air to air combat and leading the United States in peace and war.

"Look", said Clark, "I was wrong.  John McCain's kind of experience is Vietnam is absolutely a prerequisite for serving as president.  And, let's be honest, shooting down a commy jet fighter is WAY  better than actually being shot down yourself.  Which leads us to Duke."

"Any rational person knows that shooting down an enemy plane is somewhere between 100 and 1000 times better than being shot down yourself.  Duke Cunningham, a real American combat hero, shot down five, I say again, five, Vietnamese aircraft.  He was America's only ace during that heroic war to stop the commie domino machine.  Even using the most conservative number, that makes Duke 500 freakiin' times more qualified than even the esteemed and very brave Senator McCain."

Clark went on to say that since the primary processes of both parties somehow left Duke Cunningham  off the ballot, despite being 500 times more qualified than any other living American, he is supporting Duke as VP for either, or both, political parties.  "To be honest,", Clark said, I'm still a little confused as to whether being shot down is better or worse than not being shot down, so I'm an equal opportunity drafter when it comes to Duke for VP."

Asked at the news conference whether he felt that Duke's clear superiority in aerial combat was somehow mitigated by the fact that he is in prison for corruption and that both his current and former wives filed restraining orders against him, Clark was unapologetic.  "Look, you pathetic liberals", Clark shouted, "we're currently fighting two wars and if my Republican colleagues get their way we'll be fighting three.  Now is not the time to consider anything but heroics during the Vietnam war, specifically heroics involving shooting down aircraft.  Even getting shot down is a better qualifier than never having worn a flight suit."

As Clark was lead off the stage, he could be heard shouting "Duke's a fucking Ace, you unappreciaitive bastards!"  Details on petition drives and web sites are believed to be forthcoming.

Originally posted to joesig on Thu Jul 03, 2008 at 11:25 AM PDT.

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