So - a couple of days ago there was an article or diary about Deborah Howell's "commentary" on the WaPo story on the Obama home loan non-story. There was a link to Howell's article so I went to it and read the whole thing. Having suffered through law school writing courses, I offered some suggestions. ...
My letter in full read as follows:
Ms. Howell:
A small suggestion from someone who was once trained to write legal
briefs. Start with the bottom line.
Your last paragraph should have been the first:
"the story had a negative cast to it. It also lacked the important
context that other wealthy and savvy borrowers could have done as
well under similar circumstances. "
From there, you can go into what prompted you to write your column
(justifiable outrage), your research (which demonstrated that the
loan rate was quite reasonable for a two-earner couple with high
earnings and a great credit history), your restated conclusion (from
the new first paragraph). And then you might want to end (if you
don't want to embarrass your own reporters too much) with a
commentary about how the next time the paper will make sure that
their reporters know a little something about the underlying industry
or process that they are writing about.
Hope this advice helps you in writing your next apology for another
poorly researched and poorly written WaPo article.
God I miss the Post of the early 70s. You guys brought down a
criminal conspiracy in the white house. Now you can't even analyze a
mortgage loan deal.
Pinecone
http://costofwar.com/
And today, back from a long day at work, what do I find in my in-box (I gave my correct email address) but the following:
Dear Pinecone: It wasn't an apology for the story. I thought it had problems. But, you know, I could have written it the way you suggested, and maybe it would have turned out better.
Deborah Howell
Washington Post Ombudsman
Well - knock me over with a feather. She responded to an email. She allowed as how if she had put the lede at the lede it might have been a better piece. But she couldn't quite acknowledge that her article was an apology nor, I guess, that if it wasn't an apology, it should have been.
Well, as Meatloaf used to say ... two out of three ain't bad.