It's over.
Even as we sent Obama abroad to charm world leaders, and wow crowds of adoring foreigners, it was in the back of our mind.
We knew that no matter how many soaring inspirational speeches Obama gave, McCain's camp had in their arsenal a Charisma Bomb of devastating effectiveness, one we just couldn't match.
And now they've dropped it.
How can we possibly compete with the spectacle of John McCain in leather chaps?
This is what it comes down to: Obama did Berlin, So McCain’s people have gone nuclear.
McCain’s going to The Sturgis Bike Rally:
SEN. McCAIN EXPECTED TO VISIT STURGIS DURING RALLY WEEK
On: 2008-04-30 17:12:33
Senator John McCain is scheduled to appear at the Buffalo Chip on Monday, August 4th, just before performances by Kelly Pickler and Kid Rock.
Johnny Mac in riding leathers on a Fatboy with Cindy in the bitch-seat. Could he GET any More presidential?!
Damn Him and his Finger-on-the-pulse Hipster advisers!
and it gets worse:
Apparently friends, the McCain campaign has also cracked our secret to drawing record crowds-provide opening acts. I'm sorry to say it but "Operation The Decemberists" is officially compromised. They're on to us. We thought that our scientific breakthrough in crowd manipulation, that proved that mildly successful indie-rockers and Has-been mainstream acts can draw crowds hundreds of times bigger that they ever have before if you have them open for a politician, would remain our secret weapon forever.
read this part of the sentence again and weep inconsolably:
just before performances by Kelly Pickler and Kid Rock.
In other words he's got not one but TWO opening acts, a Has-been AND a Never Was! The "singer " most famous for assault cases and banging Pamela Anderson will, Voltron-like combine his massive appeal with the American Idol runner-up who didn't know Europe was a Continent and France a Country
In our hubris what have we unleashed?
Fools!, we were fools I tell you! We reached too far and now our wings are burning. How could they NOT have figured out after that Rally in Seattle? 25,000 MIGHT have been plausible but 75,000? the only way to draw 75,000 democrats in a conservative enclave like Seattle was to use the songwriting prowess, and sheer star power of Colin Meloy?!
What were we thinking?
Obama had his Victory Gate Speech, and we can warm ourselves in the memory of fooling the German Police and worldwide meadia into reporting that 200,000 people saw a speech that only 2000 really showed up for (and all of those to see the opening act).
But it's over now. McCain will have his "Buffalo Chip moment" . Think of the Majesty, of McCain, decked out in an oh-so-presidential Harley riding jacket, stammering through his stump speech while surrounded by throngs of drunken bikers, hooting at his every word and middle aged women flashing the Cameras whenever they point in their direction.
How can we possibly counter that image of raw, presidential competency?
I submit, we simply cannot.
Well it was a nice ride while it lasted, I suppose.