As the facts emerge, the truth about the Bush-Gonzales Justice Department just keeps getting stranger, doesn't it? Political interference in the hiring and firing of prosecutors, the possibly false prosecution of a former governor, and now the bizarre litmus test questions and Internet searches of Monica Goodling. You can't make this stuff up.
Or can you?
See if you can tell which are the real questions asked (illegally, of course) of civil service appointees by Ms. Goodling and which are completely made up.
A.Tell us about your political philosophy. There are different groups of conservatives, by way of example: Social Conservative, Fiscal Conservative, Law & Order Republican.
B. At what point in your life did you accept the Lord Jesus Christ as your savior?
C. What took you so long?
D. Which are worse: Democrats? Darwinists? Environmentalists? Feminists? Civil libertarians? All of the above?
E. What is it about George W. Bush that makes you want to serve him?
F. Aside from the President, give us an example of someone currently or recently in public service who you admire.
G. Do you consider water-boarding to be a form of torture?
H. What if it's someone who looks different than you do -- you know, someone suspicious-like?
I. Why are you a Republican?
J. Well, then, what the hell are you doing here?
The answers: A, E, F and I are real questions. B, C, D, G and H are made up, as far as we know.
If you guessed that fewer than three of the questions were real, we admire your abiding faith in the Bush administration, we really do.
If you guessed that four to six of the questions were real, consider yourself well-informed and politically savvy.
If you guessed that all 10 questions were real, then you might be paranoid, but that doesn't mean the Bush administration isn't out to get you.
And as if that weren't entertaining enough, I've decided to take it a step further by answering the questions on behalf of myself:
-Tell us about your political philosophy. There are different groups of conservatives, by way of example: Social Conservative, Fiscal Conservative, Law & Order Republican. Oh, I didn't know that's what they were called. My liberal friends and I just refer to them as: Hate-Mongering Fanatics Who Picket Outside the Planned Parenthood, Compassionless Social Service Haters, and Fred Thompson.
-What is it about George W. Bush that makes you want to serve him? I want to serve him- with a subpoena.
-Aside from the President, give us an example of someone currently or recently in public service who you admire. Besides President Bush? Gosh, that's hard to say. I would have to go with Richard Nixon. Or Ronald Regan. Oh, wait you said "admire," not "abhor"? Oops, my mistake.
-Why are you a Republican? Oh, I'm sorry, did you think I was a Republican? No, no, Ms. Goodling, I think you mistook my resume for someone else's. I'm so liberal that I don't even think it's a dirty word. You might call me the anti-Republican, does that work? I mean it has the word 'Republican' in the title.
So do you think I got the job? Well neither would Ms. Goodling. All of these questions, by the way, are illegal. One hundred percent illegal. You'd think that an agency called "The Department of Justice" would be clear on what's allowed by law and what isn't, but once again, that's what you get when Bush appoints administration officials who would rather ensure their places in the inner circles of the Bush Crony Club than actually do their jobs.
The Bush administration has tried to use their political agenda to influence just about every sector of our government, even agencies that are supposed to objectively removed from politics. They've taken hostage of our government, erasing the checks and balances of democracy to suit his own agenda. Sign our petition to keep politics out of the DOJ.