My local paper published a LTE with the "Obama shunned the troops" email. In the spirit of that courageous and patriotic act, this is my response....
It's Not Too Late.
It has been a terrible day but thanks to God for friends and the internet (that wonderful medium Ronald Reagan taught Al Gore to invent), we will all get through this. Today I received an email from a trusted friend alerting me to the fact that Barack Obama had the audacity to paint over a flag on the tail of his private campaign plane that he uses to fly all over the world giving speeches about peace, rainbows and unicorns. He painted over the sacred flag of our country and in its place he put his own campaign logo—what a despicable disgrace. And this is the man who wants to be our next president!!!!!!?? This is all true, I checked it out on Snopes! (Editorial comment: I know you Kossacks, non-believers and assorted heathens all, are going to start yelling "links please". Well I don't do links. Links are against my religion and you of all people should know better than to force your ways onto others. You are perfectly capable of looking this up yourselves and since you are doomed to hell anyway, no further harm will be done.)
Then, in the course of learning of Obama's audacious lack of patriotism, I find out that Senator McCain's campaign plane, the so called "Straight Talk Express", is not painted good old red, white and blue, rather it is painted pansy blue and canary yellow—the same colors as Sweden's flag—like he is so old he forgot what country he is running to be president of. Or, maybe it was not an oversight as his wife Cindy recently pocketed a cool $52 billion for the sale of Anheuser-Busch, that bastion of American brewing prowess, to InBev Brewers located in Belgium, which just happens to be the capital of...wait for it...Sweden. That was 52 billion with a "B". I guess with that kind of money floating around, you can paint your plane anyway you want.
So these two clowns are the choices we have for our next president—one wants to head wizard of Fairytale Land and the other wants to be king of Sweden. Never mind the fact that both were born in foreign countries so neither of them fit the natural born citizen constitutional requirement for being president. McCain was born in Communist Panama and Obama was born and raised in some far off Muslim ruled protectorate of China—he is not even a real African/American. The mainstream press won't report this—all they care about is selling advertising spots—they don't need to report the real news! They also won't report how Muslims are trying to take over all aspects of our open capitalistic society. Muslims recently bought the Chrysler building in New York City and you can be sure they have their eyes on Ford and Chevrolet next. And remember that grilled cheese sandwich with the likeness of the Virgin Mary seared into it that sold on Ebay a couple years ago for $28,000? Well, if you are wondering why you haven't heard any more about it, it is rumored by good sources that none other than Barack Hussein Obama paid twice that for it only to feed it to his dog just to destroy any reminders of Jesus’ immaculate birth and to advance Obama’s evil Muslim theology.
It all seems so bleak. Or is it really? There is still hope to save our great country but we must act fast. It is true that the Democrat, Republican and Libertarian parties have all picked their candidates for President. But one party is still without a candidate—the Green Party. And who better to run on that ticket than the one person who can still save America...Dick Cheney. So, please go to www.whitehouse.org and sign the online petition for the Green party to nominate Dick Cheney as their candidate. God loves America and God loves Dick Cheney. How else could the man have survived 12 heart attracts? And if you need further proof, you need look no further than his gay daughter Mary. Mary Cheney is living testament of God's Intelligent Design and she once and for all sets the record straight that the "theory of evolution" is complete bunk. Gays can't reproduce so it is obvious that they were created by God and not developed by Darwin. We are all God's children and now each and every one of us needs to band together and save this great country called America! (Hobbits and Swedes, you have permission to sit this one out).
KEEP US STRAIGHT, DICK CHENEY 2008! Thank you.