Sunday, August 03, 2008
Dear Diary,
I take a lot of flack for occasionally getting a little confused about things. Like Sunni and Shia. The borders of Pakistan and Iraq. The timeline of the glorious surge. What my positions are on stem cell research, social security privatization, offshore drilling, tax cuts for the rich, benefits for veterans. The name of the country formerly known as Czechoslovakia. Right and wrong. Little things that anyone could get confused about.
But people don't know the half of it, Diary. Because (and I'd only admit this to you), frankly a lot of things about the modern world confuse the shit out of me and I just don't know where to turn for answers. These cell phones for instance. Cindy-pills tells me I'd better have one. But should I get an i-Phone or a g-Spot? She didn't know about either one. And computers. What's better, a laptop, or a lapdance?
And what's the difference between blogging and snogging and jogging? And what the hell is texting? And is MySpace a new NASA program? And for that matter what the devil happened to spaces between words, and capital letters, and evening newspapers, and Laurence Welk? I'm a little confused Diary, but I'll get there eventually, and tell you all about it too. Just as soon as I figure out how to change the ribbon in this typewriter.
Respectfully yours,
John Sidney McCain, III