Denver, CO (APE) - Democrats today announced that they would be handing out free matchboxes and candles emblazoned with "McCain Energy Plan" to participants attending the national convention. The gimmick appears to be in response to the recent release of tire pressure gauges by the GOP emblazoned with "Obama Energy Plan".
On the reverse side of the matchbook is the phrase "Better light a candle and curse the cold and darkness" a wordplay upon a phrase representing hope. Accompanying each matchbook is a single taper candle also engraved with the phrase "McCain Energy Plan". When lit, the candle reportedly gives off an aroma reminiscent of cow patties.
"The McCain campaign simply needs to lighten up," stated an anonymous DNC spokesperson. "This is merely our way of pointing out with a little bit of humor the stark reality that will result from McCain's proposed continuation of the Cheney energy doctrine."
The DNC will be accepting donations on the honor system, and the "McCain Energy Plan" kit will be free to anyone attending the convention. It will be available on line, again, with donations accepted on the honor system, or for the bulk price of $.25 to anyone interested in receiving one.
"A typical Democratic giveaway," stated McCain campaign chairman Rick Davis. "America needs to take a really close look at this. They have the opportunity to turn a huge profit by marking this up, but what do they do? They essentially give it away. America does not need government that can't turn a profit."