I write the headlines NOW, so you can avoid the newspapers LATER...
August:
Obama chooses to go on vacation during olympics. Is HE the reason freakishly-cute girl from Omaha fell off the balance beam?
President Bush outpolled by "genital crabs", "long weekends at your mother in law's" and "phone solicitors who mispronounce your last name". Good news for John McCain?
Barack Obama discovered to not not not not not not not not be a terrorist, muslim, pedophiliac, yet Americans STILL not not not not be confused by newspaper headlines.
Hillary Clinton applauded at Democratic convention. Should Obama concede?
September:
Some question why some believe that some have heard from some all about Michelle Obama's "Whitey" tape, which is clearly being kept unders wraps by some others, some say.
Vietnam vet and former prisoner of war John McCain set to debate dark-skinned, elitist, won't-visit-the-troops-without-cameras Barack Obama.
Barack Obama shows mastery of foreign issues. Does this mean he hates America?
Obama's lead widens, but since less is more, wasn't it better when his lead was less?
October:
New poll finds if election were held before the fifteenth amendment in 1870 giving African-Americans the right to vote and the suffrage act of 1920, John McCain wins in a landslide. Some wonder if we should build a time machine.
Since Money is the root of all evil and Barack Obama has outraised John McCain, is Obama the root of the root of all evil? Some say "Yes"!
People trick or treating in Barack Obama masks refuse to say the Pledge of Allegiance, wear a flag pin and are seen to take TWO bite-sized snickers when the home-owner CLEARLY said "Take just one". Will this hurt the Obama campaign and be good for McCain?
November:
On eve of election, Obama up by 5, but is it enough to combat headlines questioning the size of his lead on the eve of the election?
Barack Obama wins election! Good news for McCain?