Sorry, Team F.O.O. - I don't have too many functioning brain cells left for a catchy intro. I hope to have pictures of yesterday's festivities in the next day or so.
R.I.P. to Isaac Hayes. I'll ready myself for slings & arrows; I'd never heard of him until South Park. I was born in 1971; I wasn't exactly "of age" for Shaft!
It's 85 days until the election. Hopefully, we won't be at war with Iraq, Iran, AND Russia by then.
Let's count down tonight's Countdown!
#5 "Russia Invades" AKA "War Counsel" AKA "War Politics" - I wonder how many times Senator McCentury had to catch himself before he said the "Soviet Union" instead of "Russia." Let’s go into Russia with SuperSoakers! There’s probably more of them than ready available troops. If DICK Cheney thinks Russia "...should not go unanswered...," let’s put him in a plane with a parachute and nothing but a hunting knife and see how well he does "answering" them. Make Bill Kristol go with him! Georgia has oil?! Oh bloody hell... Did Bob Costas need brain bleach after interviewing GWB? Give Mr. Costas another Emmy or something! I thought Senator McCentury was supposed to be getting rid of all his lobbyist "issues." One of his campaign workers is/was a lobbyist for Georgia? Lovely... Gee, what other Dem can we think of full of hot air that’s probably dying to get into this action to show how tough they are? There’s Rachel! Senator McCentury still has unresolved Communism issues; that’s why he’s all set to start shooting. We’re not talking about the STATE of Georgia? Well, hell; what’s all the fuss about? I hope Americans are as smart as Rachel believes.
#4 "One Term Wonder?" AKA "The Limited" - Senator McCentury’s been grounded! I wonder who did that – his mom? Rick Davis thinks the GOP convention will be a great event; it will be a comedy of errors to commemorate the end of an error! Is it just me, or does Rick Davis look like he needs more fiber in his diet? I can just hear Senator McCentury with his cell phone trying to reach TurdBlossom: "Can you hear me now? WTF do I do now?!" Senator McCentury cannot "disown the Bush years" when he supported GWB 95% of the time. If he picks pro – choice Tom Ridge as his running mate, he’ll "lose the base" anyway if he hasn’t already.
BUSHED! "Do as I Say Not as I Do – Gate" - Brad Blakeman is suing the Swing Vote people. "Anthrax – Gate" - The WSJ reported that at least 100 other people had access to the Dr. Ivins flask of anthrax? Damn! The same weekend guy who told Chris Wallace to start acting like a journalist must have written the same memo to the WSJ! "How About Asking the Iraqis – Gate" - Hell, why can’t we just make Iraq our 51st state like GWB, DICK & Senator McCentury want, then we won’t have to worry about what them pesky Iraqis want.
**I hope that car didn’t hit Apu! That "heart robot" looks like a lamb to me. I’ll take Cher over "Stand by Your Man" every day and twice on Sunday! So, no one told GWB he was holding the flag bass ackwards? Good grief... Isn’t that a distress signal?**
#3 "Celeb – Reality" AKA "Face Time" AKA "Ad Wars & Edwards" - Howard Wolfson’s working at FAUX News, huh? I think Terry McAwful should be working there, too, gosh darnit! I agree with Jonathan Alter; Senator Obama should’ve rolled out this ad weeks ago. "Political celebrity" became an issue when Senator McCentury got his shorts in a bunch when he realized no one was listening to him, and everyone was listening to Senator Obama. I’ll have to take Keith’s word about the Olympic ads because I’m not really paying attention to the Olympics. A Senator Clinton staffer is F.O.S.? No freakin’ way!
WPITW – Sean Hannity has "interesting" selective memory. He must have forgotten his f*ckin’ show IS TAPED! Greg Jared (apologies if I spelled his name wrong) didn’t want to talk about the ickiness between Russia & Georgia (the non – state version – that may have confused him, too) in order to talk about Senator Edwards’ affair. Sex does sell with the pirate Murdoch! Stewart Shephard wants it to rain on Senator Obama. Is he going to hire Native Americans to "help" in the effort?
#1 "Swing Vote" AKA "The Jolie of Politics" AKA "Celebritease" - I could give a rat’s a$$ about who Angelina supports. But, it is sad that dear ‘ol dad is in Senator McCentury’s camp. So much for the Jon Voight who was in an X – rated movie with Dustin Hoffman! Maybe, he regrets that Deliverance roll, too. Paul F. Tompkins needs a wardrobe consultant. She’s apparently not getting along with dad these days, so she should support Senator Obama just to spite him. Thanks for getting the Blazing Saddles line correct, Keith! You obviously don’t have the movie memorized like I do.