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Having trouble remembering how many houses you have, John?

K, well...

...remembering your involvement in the Keating Five, do you think you have more houses than you have had shady, corrupt, and surely illegal relationships with chairmen of failed savings and loan institutions?

More than one? Ok then...

...remembering that you were AGAINST overturning Roe vs. Wade before you were FOR overturning Roe vs. Wade, do you think you have more houses than you've had views on abortion PLUS shady, corrupt, and surely illegal relationships with chairmen of failed savings and loan institutions?

Still more? More than three? Really. Most people don't need THREE. Ok, well, then...

...given that you were against the Bush Tax cuts before you were FOR the Bush tax cuts, do you think you have more houses than you've had panders on tax policy PLUS views on abortion PLUS shady, corrupt, and surely illegal relationships with chairmen of failed savings and loan institutions?

Really? More than FIVE? One for each finger? One for each plane your crashed? So, then...

...remembering that you once joked that Chelsea Clinton was "so ugly" because Janet Reno was her father, do you think you have more houses than you've made crude, sexist and misogynist jokes about minors PLUS panders on tax policy PLUS views on abortion PLUS shady, corrupt, and surely illegal relationships with chairmen of failed savings and loan institutions?

Wow? MORE THAN HALF A DOZEN? Well, then...

...remembering that you were grinning over cake while New Orleans was sinking, do you think you have more houses then you have Bush-loving, compassionless, self-serving photo-ops PLUS crude, sexist and misogynist jokes about minors PLUS panders on tax policy PLUS views on abortion PLUS shady, corrupt, and surely illegal relationships with chairmen of failed savings and loan institutions?

Seven? Great. Seven. Just like the dwarves?

(So, um, does that make you Dopey?)

UPDATE: So apparently there are at least EIGHT so I guess the running tally of McCain abodes would equal or exceed Bush-loving, compassionless, self-serving photo-ops PLUS crude, sexist and misogynist jokes about minors PLUS panders on tax policy PLUS views on abortion PLUS shady, corrupt, and surely illegal relationships with chairmen of failed savings and loan institutions PLUS former soviet-bloc countries renamed without notice, care or comprehension.

UPDATE #2: Oh, I forgot... we're doomed.

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Originally posted to SYFPH on Thu Aug 21, 2008 at 02:15 PM PDT.

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