From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE...
Trust Me
"You're a financial planner and you want to invest my retirement savings in scratch tickets?"
"Trust me. I was a POW."
"You're a plumber and you're going to fix my clog with a stick of dynamite?"
"Trust me. I was a POW."
"You're a firefighter and you're going to put out the flames with gasoline?"
"Trust me. I was a POW."
"You're a jeweler and you're going to fix my Rolex with a hammer?"
"Trust me. I was a POW."
"You’re a nuclear physicist and you're giving out 'free samples' of enriched uranium to children?"
"Trust me. I was a POW."
"You're a surgeon and you're using a rusty hacksaw?"
"Trust me. I was a POW."
"You’re the Republican candidate for president and you want to fix the country's problems even though you don’t know much about the economy, you don’t know how to use the internet, you don’t know how many houses you own or what kind of car you drive, you admit you don’t think clearly when you’re tired, you make frequent gaffes on foreign policy, you think offshore drilling is a short-term solution to high gas prices, you support torture and keeping the Guantanamo prison open, you make rash decisions and statements from which you have to quickly backtrack, you have an explosive temper on a hair trigger, your idea of health care reform is 'wear more sunscreen,' you're for stem cell research except when it's done on stem cells because you consider them all American citizens, and you voted to support the policies of the worst president ever 100 percent of the time this year?"
"Trust me, my friends. I was a POW."
Only in Republicanland.
Cheers and Jeers starts in There's Moreville... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Note: Has Michael Phelps solved the energy crisis yet?
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til the first Obama/McCain debate at the University of Emm Eye Ess Ess Eye Ess Ess Eye Pee Pee Eye: 30
Days `til the 157th Fryeburg Fair: 32
Percent of workers who admitted to stretching the truth on their resumes: 8%
Percent of hiring managers who say they caught a candidate lying on their resume: 49%
(Source: CareerBuilder.com survey)
Losses among five of the top six credit unions from mortgage investment losses: $5.7 billion
(Source: Wall Street Journal via The Week)
Median age of a Denver resident: 34.7 years
Rank of Denver among "thinnest cities" in America, according to the American Cancer Society: #1
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Mid-week Rapture Index: 163 (including 1 Democratic National Convention and 1 helluva wingspan). Soul Protection Factor 16 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Probably a wise decision
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The Convention:
JEERS to early duds. Pennsylvania Senator Bob Casey had a couple good zingers ("That's not a maverick, that's a sidekick" and "Four more months"), but otherwise delivered blows against the GOP with all the force of a Nerf bat. And who sprinkled pixie dust on Mark Warner and turned him into a combination of Barney the Dinosaur and Stuart Smalley??? Eight years of Bush-Cheney bullshit and the best he can do is "Can't we all get along"??? Thank god Montana Governor Brian Schweitzer swooped in to raise a fine ruckus. One 2004 was enough, thank you.
CHEERS to that magic moment. Last night Hillary Clinton graciously thanked her supporters, admonished the hardliners in her camp to think of "we" instead of "me," and turned the keys to the White House over to Barack Obama. Best lines: "It makes sense that George Bush and John McCain will be together next week in the Twin Cities. Because these days they're awfully hard to tell apart" and "We don’t need four more years of the last eight years." And the bumper sticker: "No way. No how. No McCain." Can you hear her now, PUMA?
CHEERS to Night 3! Tonight's line-up includes: Bill Clinton, Tom Daschle; Gov. Bill Richardson, Senators Bayh, Kerry, Reid, and Salazar, Congressmembers Jim Clyburn, Robert Wexler and Patrick Murphy, and Iraq War veteran Tammy Duckworth will lead a tribute honoring veterans, active duty military and their families. And then...from the Scranton suburb of Delaware...weighing in at give-or-take 180 pounds: Joe "Scrappy Pappy Mad Dog Ham Bone Unleash 'Im and Turn 'Im Loose" Biden! Aroooooo!!! For those of you who can't stand the sight of blood, there's always The Weather Channel.
CHEERS to an apt comparison. In yesterday's Frameshop diary, Jeffrey Feldman expanded on the significance of Michelle Obama's words by putting her Monday night speech through the lens of history and finding common ground with LBJ's Great Society:
Despite what the cynical voices of pessimism that dominate the media will say, this is not just an election about taxes--or just about war or just about the environment or just about healthcare or just about education. Each issue is crucial, but above them all: this is an election in which we have the opportunity to recommit ourselves 'to building the world as it should be.'
The 'Great Society' is a great American idea. It sure is great to hear it again.
Coincidentally, Lyndon Johnson also grabbed the microphone after his speech ended and yelled "I love you, Daddy!" Eerie.
P.S. It's the old man's 100th birthday. Go here and give him a big Texas howdy.
The rest...
CHEERS to the letter L. Lovely bit of news from the straight-shooters at McClatchy News. Seems the gray matter between Americans' ears is turning a darker shade of blue:
"Every generation . . . there are changes in people's relationship with government," said Sen. Charles Schumer, D-N.Y. This, he said, is such a time. ...
Nationally, 40 percent of Democrats in the 2006 midterm elections called themselves liberal, the highest since the American National Election Studies program started asking in 1972.
At the same time, the number of Democrats who support a government safety net for the poor---such as guaranteeing food and shelter for the needy and spending to help them even if it means more debt---jumped by 14 percentage points from 1994 to 2007, according to the Pew Research Center. Support for that safety net also rose by 15 points among independents and 9 points among Republicans.
Perhaps there's a silver lining in the Bush presidency, after all: a collective, horrifying, frying-pan-in-the-face realization of how low we can let ourselves sink in the name of "rugged individualism" and "homeland security." I sure hope so, because if we sink any lower we're gonna start spending our days perched on rocks picking fleas out of each other's hair.
JEERS to sloppy PR. "Michael Moore" (more like one of his handlers) dropped by yesterday to post a diary and in the process sins---sins I tell you!---were committed. 1) His purpose was exclusively to raise easy cash by hawking his new book, and he made no effort to tailor his message to the Daily Kos community. 2) He didn’t stick around to respond to comments. Is he so busy he couldn’t give us 15 measly minutes when we're giving him our money and mojo? 3) The "champion of the little guy" sent everyone to online behemoth Amazon.com to order his book instead of telling people to try their local independent bookseller first. 4) Worst of all, he didn’t say "please." Gee, thanks for making us feel so special, Mike. Maybe next time you can just have Ron Popeil swing by.
JEERS to the Liar-in-Chief. Fond memories: six years ago, on August 27, 2002, George W. Bush had Saudi Prince Bandar bin Sultan-of-Swing over to his Crawford Ranch for a little brush-clearin' and jerky chompin' and Iraq discussin':
The meeting, however, failed to change Saudi Arabia's strong opposition to a military attack. "There is no country in the world that I know of that supports military action against Iraq at this time," Adel Al-Jubeir, a foreign policy adviser to the Saudi kingdom, told CNN.
"Why is that such a surprise to people? The reason that's the case is because people believe every option should be exhausted before the military option should be used."
The Saudis made the case to the Bush team that getting weapons inspectors back inside Iraq would be the best way to deal with the threat posed by the Iraqi leader.
"If the objective is to dismantle the weapons of mass destruction program, we could probably do that without going to war," Al-Jubeir said. "Why not use that option? Why do people want to risk the lives of tens of thousands of American men and women in uniform for an objective that can be achieved through negotiations?"
Oh, let’s see: to get our hands on cheap oil, to feed the military-industrial complex, to scare Americans into re-electing the macho Republicans, to bully the world, to get revenge on Saddam for "tryin' to kill mah daddy," and to act out G.I. Joe fantasies aboard an aircraft carrier under a "Mission Accomplished" banner. Other than that, I got nothin'.
JEERS to Bill O'Reilly. Last night Ferretface breathlessly reported that McCain was beating Obama in the daily Gallup poll (he is, by 2), and that---gasp!---"that's never happened before." Oh really? Take a look for yourself. For the millionth time, Billo: national polls mean bupkus. And you're a hack.
ICK to a very messy business. Ever hear of "oil sand" mining? Did you know it's a real boom in Alberta and could yield 175 billion barrels of oil? Can you say Wowie Zowie Kerpowie? Did you know it's also a slimy, destructive business? Would you like to read the Clifs Notes version?
[C]ompanies plan to strip an area here the size of New York state...oil sands emissions are "unacceptably high"...Canada's boreal forest, one of the largest intact ecosystems in the world, is being torn up to make way for the mines...The extraction process uses 2 to 4 1/2 barrels of water for each barrel of oil produced...ponds contain waste made from the separation of oil from sand...look more like lakes and take up 50 square miles of northern Alberta...if one of the ponds spilled into the river, the impact would be felt for decades...would be the equivalent of several hundred Exxon Valdez oil spills,"...major health issues...drugs and prostitution are rampant..."It's unfathomable what's going on here."..."There are gross negligent environment and health issues being observed."
Shall I tell you more? Are those your fingers squeezing my trachea? Is that you calling me into the light, Grandma?
P.S. One hundred and forty nine years ago today, in 1859, the first successful oil well was drilled near Titusville, Pennsylvania. It was successful because none of the Bush family was involved.
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C&J Flashback---2004 Democratic National Convention, Day 3:
Convention speakers include: Elizabeth Edwards, Sen. John Edwards, Sen. Bob Graham, Rep. Dennis Kucinich, New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson, Al Sharpton.
CHEERS to Howard Dean. At convention last night, a sentimental swan song from the man who made it okay to get mad as hell, both at Bush and the self-defeating in our own party: "Never again will we ever be ashamed to call ourselves Democrats. Never, never, never!" The crowd reaction was clear: You stick around now, y'hear?
CHEERS to skinny kids with funny names. Barack Obama starts his convention speech softly, then builds to stunning where-did-that-come-from finale. "We worship an awesome God in the Blue States, and we don't like federal agents poking around in our libraries in the Red States. We coach Little League in the Blue States and yes, we've got some gay friends in the Red States. There are patriots who opposed the war in Iraq and there are patriots who supported the war in Iraq." That sound you hear is the GOP soiling their britches.
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And just one more...
CHEERS to a day at the fair. The long-form posts at Daily Kos are top-notch, period. At the same time, if you're looking for a quick scannable blog that puts a premium on word conservation---and digs up juicy bits of political toolery---check out Eric Boehlert and Jamison Foser's new one at Media Matters called County Fair. It's a merry-go-round of muckrakers, a petting zoo of petty politicians, a Ferris wheel of fraudsters, a demolition derby of dirty tricksters, a haunted house of hucksters, a ring toss of Republican rubes, a... Okay, I'll stop now.
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Oh, and CNN is silly. Like, really silly. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
"I've seen Cheers and Jeers, and here's what I have to say: I'm Hillary Clinton, and I do not approve of that message."
---Hillary Clinton
8/25/08
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