I just heard Mitt Romney on the radio. He’s apparently out at the Democratic National Convention, and described the experience (paraphrasing) as:
"like being a cattle rancher at a vegetarian convention."
We should pause for a second to recognize the brilliance of Romney’s positioning acumen. See, he’s kind of like a tough, red-meat eating Marlboro man who works the land (not a phony, effete plutocrat). Democrats are an out-of-the-mainstream group with the dietary habits of rabbits. Very Reaganesque.
My first reaction was that a better metaphor for Romney would have been, perhaps, "Its kind of like being a convicted child molester at a law enforcement convention" or maybe "its kind of like being a satan-worshipper at an Easter mass." Maybe "a vampire at a July 4th picnic?"
But then it occurred that there is probably a long list of metaphors that would probably register more directly and accurately. Please join below for some potentially helpful suggestions.
In case Romney is able to score some more interviews about his escapades in Denver, I thought I would propose some alternatives he might pick from. (Could someone there maybe pass these suggestions on to him as a gesture of good sportsmanship?)
Perhaps for the next one, Mitt, you might say:
"It’s kind of like being...
... a corporate reengineering consultant at a job creation conference
... a waterboarding enthusiast at a human rights convention
... a weapons dealer at a diplomatic conference
... a toxic polluter at a clean water conference
... a Christian Scientist at a meeting of clinical oncologists
... a creationist at a scientific conference
... a con man at a financial planning session
or, perhaps, just to add some Boston color:
... a naked mannequin at Filene’s Basement