For a long time now I have struggled to reconcile my fundamental progressive beliefs in nonviolence (aka peace), with what's right (aka justice), with belief that the future will be better for everyone, especially the least among us (aka hope) with the reality of the country (and world) in which I live.
While there is a lot evidence that my country has a heart, I have more and more frequently felt that it can also be so f'ing stupid that I can feel quite bereft of hope. Recently I have struggled mightily with the candidacy of Barak Obama.
While I was dazzled by him long before the 2004 Dem convention (thanks to his amazing interview on the Tavis Smiley program in 2004), I assumed he would spend a few years building a resume. I was wrong and admit that I felt a shiver of betrayal when he announced his decision to seek the presidency in 2008 rather than make himself irresitible as the vice presidential pick in 2008 or 2012.
Though I have long admired her intelligence, ability to articulate her ideas and her poise, I had a hard time supporting Hillary Rodham Clinton's candidacy because I saw her as part of the failed policies of the Bill Clinton administration (e.g., the decision to not lift the embargo on Cuba, NAFTA, the dismantling of the welfare system that caused so much misery, etc, etc).
You can only imagine how shocked I was at the tears -- make that sobs -- that issued when Hillary [finally] gave her [way over due but f'n wonderful] concession speech. Until that moment I had not realized how much it would have meant to me to have a WOMAN president. I accept that I may never see a female CIC (something that the pacifist in me cheers but the feminist in me decries).
The progressive in me now feels ready to cheer that I may live to see a remarkable BLACK family living in the White House for eight years.
Okay, I'll say it: as a mixed-race American with far-reaching political aspirations, especially one who could have chosen which racial/ethnic group to identify with, it might have been smarter to seek a life partner who was white. His recognition of the amazing qualities in Michelle speaks volumes to me of Obama's character and judgment.
Sorry, no, the scales have not found their way back to my eyes. I still (and may never) forgive him for his FISA vote, but the next president of the United States may well appoint three (3) -- repeat after me THREE -- justices to the Supreme Court. I cannot leave as my legacy that I didn't do everything within my power to make certain that John McCain never enters the White House as anything other than a guest.