Ring-ring
"Hello?"
"Yeah uh, there's a bear walking by my house. What color is it?"
More spine-tingling suspense below...
Ring-ring
"Hello?"
"Mayor, we've received reports of shimmering lights in the sky."
"Great googly moogly! They're back!"
Ring-ring
"Hello?"
"Hi there. I was wondering why the sun is still out. Could you shed some light on that for me? Harharhaharhar!" <click>
Ring-ring
"Hello?"
"Mayor, the Zamboni is out of gas again."
Ring-ring
"Hello?"
"There's this glacier, and it's melting."
"It's just your imagination. Go back to sleep."
Update: Notice I said "the" phone.
Update: More from the comments:
Ring-ring
"Hello?"
"Look out! The moose are back!"
h/t: Shelbyville Manhattan
Ring-ring
"Hello?"
"Sarah, my ex-husband just got a job as a night-watchman in a warehouse. I thought you were 'taking care of him'".
"No worries, shug. I'll get my people on it; we'll make sure he's fired by the end of the day".
"Say hi to mom for me". <Click>
h/t: Ralphdog
Ring-ring
"Hello?"
"Mayor, it's your turn to plow main street today"
"5 more minutes pleeeeeaaase?"
h/t: Vita Brevis