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It says a lot about a man that he can't walk into a room unannounced. It says, "If you don't see me -- then what good are you?" It says, "MEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEEEEEEEEEE". It says, "Maverick" ?

Maverick \Mav"er*ick\, n. In the southwestern part of the united States, a bullock or heifer that has not been branded, and is unclaimed or wild; -- said to be from Maverick, the name of a cattle owner in Texas who neglected to brand his cattle.

Source: Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary (1913)

Well, yeah -- I guess you'd NOTICE a wild heifer wandering into, oh, let's say a dinner party or a church service. Interesting though, to think of McCain as a wild COW. I always thought a Maverick was a horse...that's a lot sexier. I mean -- think about a wild f*&@ing cow...OOOOHHH!!! Beats an Elephant or a Donkey I suppose -- if you're drunk.

In any event, the point of this "not a diary" is the single most notable character trait on display by John McCain these past weeks (and upcoming weeks) is his desperate need for attention.

  1. August 28, 1963 -- the occasion of the "I have a dream" speech by the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr...the seminal event of the civil rights struggle in its infancy --> flash forward 45 years...a partial realization of that dream fulfilled when a young, (clean, articulate...d'oh!) African-American --- hell, a black man claims the nomination of the Democratic party for President of the United States...let me repeat that; the party of Wallace ("Segregation NOW! Segregation FOREVER!!!"), the party that FOUGHT Lincoln, the party that brought you Jim Crow -- the party that solidified the south for decades through racial politicking, is now RUN by someone who wouldn't even have been allowed to drink from the same fountains or use the same lunch counter had the convention been held in the year of his birth south of the Mason-Dixon line. And what's John McCain's reaction?

"I HAVE A HISTORIC ANNOUNCEMENT...LOOK AT ME!!!" He releases an ad that "congratulates" Obama for this historic and amazing feat (an ad that, I'm pretty sure never even aired except on ALL the news shows and featured a closeup of, who else? MEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!) This charm offensive after 28 straight days of calling Obama dangerously naive and inexperienced.

Can you say stage-hog?

If I'd have been on the Obama campaign (and it's probably a good thing I wasn't) I'd have released an ad to coincide with the old man's speech congratulating him on FINALLY acknowledging MLK's importance (even if he couldn't actually say it) after years of opposing a federal holiday in his name.

  1. August 29, 2008 -- in the after-glow of the aforementioned historic moment, a barely-contained McCain campaign LEAPS out of the crevice where its campaign is headquartered and announces "SOMEONE YOU NEVER EXPECTED!!!! (or heard of)" for Vice-Presidency, taken in conjunction with his ad-blitz it's pretty clear -- he refuses to not be paid attention to. We should have been focusing on his running mate, Tina Fey, but I could only stare at his smarmy shit-eating grin during the announcement which practically screamed "I AM SO FRACKING CLEVER -- HOW CAN YOU NOT LOOK AT MEMEMMEMEMEMEMEMEMEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!"
  1. September 1, 2008 -- a category 3 hurricane storms ashore in the exact same area where an American city drowned 3 years ago while Nero fiddled Bush ate cake with Grampa. And What's McCain's reaction? "LOOK AT MEMEMEMMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEEEEEE!!!!" For fuck's sake, he can't even yield the spotlight to a hurricane, that's not a maverick, that's an EgoMcCainiac.

The thing is, Americans like a strong president, someone to rally around -- even if they don't actually like him -- but they kinda want him to stand in front of the flag...not put his picture ON the flag. This guy will tattoo his visage on the insides of your eyelids people. McCainism represents a future too terrible to imagine where you can't even watch "The Family Guy", "Deal or No Deal" or "Desperate Housewives" without a wrinkled, cranky Narcissist forcing his way into your attention span. We must stop the 24/7 MEMEMEMEMEMEEEEEEE!!!!! Presidency from ever coming to fruition.

Originally posted to PBJ Diddy on Mon Sep 01, 2008 at 07:50 AM PDT.


McCain's Campaign Slogan

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