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It's no joke. There's nothing harder for a young woman to deal with... especially a girl who comes from a religious backgroud. Reality rearing its ugly head in the "perfect" family. I know this senario. I know this reality. And it is not funny.

Kids do stupid things. They drink... they swear... they do drugs... they party... and yes, they have sex. I know this because I did it and I know people who did it as well... especially girls. I had unprotected pre-marital sex with many girls.

And sometimes, accidents happen. Especially amongst the foolish young.

Should the parents bare the blame for the reckless behaviour of their children? Seriously, have any of you ever had unprotected, premarital sex against the wishes of your parents. I can tell you one thing: I HAVE. I was too young and too stupid to know any better. An Edward J. Almos video in health class illustrating how to put a condom on a banana did not convince me.

And I'll bet it wouldn't have changed your mind either.

So even if you see hypocrisy in the parents of a teen pregnancy, please consider what you have done in your lifetime and try to understand what it is like to be in that situation.

And get a fucking grip.

Originally posted to HairyTrueMan on Tue Sep 02, 2008 at 08:01 PM PDT.

Poll

Did you have unmarried/unprotected sex?

23%12 votes
59%31 votes
5%3 votes
11%6 votes

| 52 votes | Vote | Results

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Comment Preferences

  •  Tips... (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    koNko, jhop7, browneyes

    for more important issues.

    The way to see by Faith is to shut the Eye of Reason. -Benjamin Franklin

    by HairyTrueMan on Tue Sep 02, 2008 at 08:02:23 PM PDT

  •  should you post a diary like this? n/t (0+ / 0-)

    Republicans are not a national party anymore. Read My Lips: One Spouse, One House.

    by jalapeno on Tue Sep 02, 2008 at 08:03:07 PM PDT

  •  I thank you for leaving out names. (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    koNko, HairyTrueMan

    Seriously, this is an issue that, IMHO, should be treated with the utmost sensitivity.

    I think it's easy to be kind to those we agree with.  It's harder to be kind to our opponents.  When these incidents occur, how we respond to them really say more about us.  

    I have never had to regret behaving compassionately.

    A hard on doesn't count as personal growth...

    by browneyes on Tue Sep 02, 2008 at 08:11:09 PM PDT

    •  Politics aside... (3+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      koNko, jhop7, browneyes

      this is a serious issue. I know a girl who was disowned by her family for getting pregnant during the summer after 10th grade. She needed their understanding and instead got shunned. It was very sad.

      People make mistakes... even the daughters of powerful people. They need understanding and support... not ridicule. And we on the left are better than that... I thought.

      The way to see by Faith is to shut the Eye of Reason. -Benjamin Franklin

      by HairyTrueMan on Tue Sep 02, 2008 at 08:16:03 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  Unfortunately... (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        HairyTrueMan

        what this whole ugly episode has proved is that we have some people on the left that are just as vicious as those on the right.

        I am a mother.  I had my son before I got married.  I am well past teenage, but from a very religious family.  I would never, ever want to endure the scrutiny that this family has had the last few days.  It's shameful.

        If my husband had told me the morning of the announcement that not only would I be feeling sorry for her and her family before the day was over, but that I would have to defend her and her family against awful personal attacks - from "progressive", no less - I would have laughed in his face.  Shameful, indeed.

        A hard on doesn't count as personal growth...

        by browneyes on Tue Sep 02, 2008 at 08:21:49 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        •  It's a political donut. (1+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          browneyes

          The far left and the far right meet on the other side. Anything that hurts the opponent is fair game.

          Some of us... no MANY of us have a perspective that only comes from experience. And we know that idealism and reality do not coincide.

          Sticking to the issues is the best bet.

          The way to see by Faith is to shut the Eye of Reason. -Benjamin Franklin

          by HairyTrueMan on Tue Sep 02, 2008 at 08:35:10 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

        •  just as vicious as those on the right (1+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          browneyes

          I don't think people are attacking the girl for getting pregnant. I'd say they're attacking the mother for demanding all girls on earth practice "abstinence only", which doesn't work, and causes millions of unplanned pregnancies and mother and child hardships nationwide.

          •  I understand that. (2+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:
            William Domingo, HairyTrueMan

            I do.  I just saw some other really nasty things coming from people here that turned my stomach.  A comment was made to me the other evening that this particular person didn't care if hurtful, false rumors effected the kid; that the ends justified the means (winning the election).

            This is the kind of stuff I'm talking about.

            A hard on doesn't count as personal growth...

            by browneyes on Tue Sep 02, 2008 at 08:47:31 PM PDT

            [ Parent ]

        •  browneyes - you and i agree 90% of the time- (1+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          browneyes

          but not on this.

          i can't believe you are not taking into consideration that the right is the party of criminalizing reproductive choice for adult women, judging women like palin (when not running for VP) as being neglectful mothers who shouldn't work, and the very likely, desperate act of a woman politician caught in the circumstance 6 months ago of facing criticism from her party should she allow her child to be public about her pregnancy.

          this is a woman who advocates the state interfering in your and my reproductive decisions.  damn right, we get to look straight into her family's own.  this is about her political opportunism, a coverup of a pregnancy, and a coverup of the coverup.  What she is doing to her own child in the interest of her own political career is the real shame, and far outweighs anything we've said here.

          i feel very sorry for the daughter - but the mother - is entitled to nothing from me but cold, hard, scrutiny... just as if she were going to take my personal freedom away.  

          OBAMA/BIDEN '08

          by jj24 on Tue Sep 02, 2008 at 08:54:21 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

          •  I'd say we agree about 99% of the time! (1+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:
            jj24

            I know in my head you are right.  I'm a big wuss.  I can't help but to feel very sorry for people when these things happen.

            (I am a real big softie, just for the record.  I just adopted 3 more pooties to add to my already large collection.)

            A hard on doesn't count as personal growth...

            by browneyes on Tue Sep 02, 2008 at 08:56:37 PM PDT

            [ Parent ]

            •  lol! well - thank you for responding... (1+ / 0-)
              Recommended by:
              browneyes

              i wasn't sure what i was going to get :)

              we DO agree on a lot, don't we? it's extraordinary.  maybe if i had kids, i'd be more sensitive to palin.  but for now, i continue to fret about bristol's non-choice.  her devastating, life-changing, lack of choice.  that's one woman for whom her body is not her own; and who even knows about the marriage.

              OBAMA/BIDEN '08

              by jj24 on Tue Sep 02, 2008 at 09:03:09 PM PDT

              [ Parent ]

              •  Maybe so... but I've always been a puss! (1+ / 0-)
                Recommended by:
                jj24

                Seriously, I can't let a condemned pet stay at my local animal shelter.  I always adopt and re-home.  BTW, want a little kitten?  ;-)

                I was in a somewhat similar situation a few years ago.  I know what it was like to have to make some decisions that I knew would not effect me, but also my parents.  They stood by me and took similar criticism of what I'm seeing of Ms. Palin.  Although I'm much older than her daughter, I see a lot of my mom in her.  (And yes, it is creepy!)

                A hard on doesn't count as personal growth...

                by browneyes on Tue Sep 02, 2008 at 09:08:57 PM PDT

                [ Parent ]

                •  ah. that makes a lot of sense. (1+ / 0-)
                  Recommended by:
                  browneyes

                  i understand better.

                  palin isn't an unlikable person, if you disregard the opportunism... but it's that, evidenced by not only this but how she went about the trooper situation as well as another political firing that makes me - well - see her differently than what she portrays.

                  OBAMA/BIDEN '08

                  by jj24 on Tue Sep 02, 2008 at 10:26:20 PM PDT

                  [ Parent ]

    •  you're kidding, right? oh, seriously. (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      browneyes

      OBAMA/BIDEN '08

      by jj24 on Tue Sep 02, 2008 at 08:43:12 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  Why do you think that? (0+ / 0-)

        Please elaborate. We're waiting for your respone.

        The way to see by Faith is to shut the Eye of Reason. -Benjamin Franklin

        by HairyTrueMan on Tue Sep 02, 2008 at 08:46:27 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

      •  What am I talking about? (2+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        jj24, HairyTrueMan

        It's easy to have compassion for our friends and political allies.  If it's someone we disagree with, some people tend to revel in their misery.  

        I'm not one of those people.  It doesn't make me feel very good inside to see other people hurting.

        How we treat those whom we disagree with shows what kind of people WE are, because that's when our true colors show.  If you can be empathetic and compassionate with those other than your friends and allies, you are truly a compassionate person.

        A hard on doesn't count as personal growth...

        by browneyes on Tue Sep 02, 2008 at 08:52:35 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        •  i do understand. so you know, i am not reveling. (1+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          browneyes

          while i may be somewhat excited about our chances in november, i am - afraid for womens' future b/c of palin.  my empathy is saved for every desperate raped poor woman, or woman in an abusive relationship that can't afford to raise a child... the women whose lives will be far worse because of her.

          but no, i am not reveling in her misery - i wouldn't mind seeing her family-damaging political opportunism, however, fall on top of her.  nope - i wouldn't mind that.

          OBAMA/BIDEN '08

          by jj24 on Tue Sep 02, 2008 at 09:12:28 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

  •  Two things... (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    jhop7
    1.  OF COURSE Bristol Palin is an ordinary teenager with ordinary issues.  She's under IMMENSE pressure right now, for sure, and it is definitely something that can help her that her mother had the same issue before her marriage.  If I were her parent, I would ensure she was out of the public view, period, until her child is born; no contact with the media, no questions answered about her, total black hole; for HER benefit.
    1.  No matter how much Sarah Palin claims to be a loving mother, if she truly wanted to support her daughter and shield her from the press she should have turned McCain down.  The fact that she didn't means she put her personal ambitions ahead of her daughter's needs, and I cannot possibly respect that parenting choice.

    Honesty is still the best policy.

    by oscarsdad on Tue Sep 02, 2008 at 08:22:01 PM PDT

    •  Is Barack Obama making the right choice? (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      browneyes

      Running for president with two young daughters?

      I think he is making an excellent choice. But he will have substantially less time for his daughters when he is the president.

      Pehaps the focus is wrong here, no?

      The way to see by Faith is to shut the Eye of Reason. -Benjamin Franklin

      by HairyTrueMan on Tue Sep 02, 2008 at 08:29:28 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  There's a big difference between two daughters (0+ / 0-)

        and five kids, one of whom is an infant with special needs and another of whom is a pregnant teen.  Someone who really has family values, who puts their family first, should put their family first.

        Obama puts his family first; his wife stayed home with the kids while they were in school, he didn't drag them around like props on the campaign trail.  He makes time for dates with his wife.  It's clear from the kids reactions to him that he is very involved in their lives.

        These two families are putting on display the disparity between the Democratic meaning for family values, i.e. putting your family ahead of other concerns, and the Republican meaning--being pro-life, nothing more, nothing less.

        Honesty is still the best policy.

        by oscarsdad on Tue Sep 02, 2008 at 10:10:11 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

    •  I agree - something's wrong with Palin's Choice (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      oscarsdad

      On MSNBC today, NBC Washington Bureau Chief, Mark Whitaker said that the Palin family was flown to Dayton last Thursday evening thinking they were going to be going to the anniversary celebration for the Gov. & "First Dude." The children were not told about the VP position until Friday morning.

      My point is that 17 year-old Bristol was duped (by the campaign and her parents) into thinking she was going to a party. Then on Friday morning she's informed that she's going on stage so the country can meet the new VP pick and her family. I can't imagine how she must have felt! Oh, and by the way, you'll be holding your baby brother so that we can put a blanket over you to hide the fact that your pregnant!

      I wonder if she's been assigned a special handler.Did someone tell her don't worry about the reporters that are going to dig up all the dirt about you and your boyfriend? Get used to mom not being around because after all, this is about "Country First."

      How does a 17 yr-old process what has happened to her and her privacy in the space of a few hours? I just can't accept that Gov Palin was thinking about what this would do to her family when she accepted this position! Look at all the people digging into the lives of these two teenage kids!

      Of course the Republicans scream about the treatment of Bristol and how this is a private matter. Am I right that now Levi will be joining Bristol at the convention? Is this what the Governor calls "privacy?" Seems to me they want to show off "family values" on their terms.

      As a mom, I'm totally turned off by Gov Palin's parenting skills.

    •  You discount (actually, ignore) the possibility (0+ / 0-)

      they all sat down and discussed the pros & cons and came to a consensus.

      One reason for doing so might have been to make sure Bristol didn't carry around a 20-wt chain engraved with "Mom could have been VP except for me." for the rest of her life.  

      Another reason might have been to gauge Bristol's attitude about being on the trail. Perhaps she doesn't care whether or not she's in the public view, and perhaps her parents don't either.

      I doubt they seek the respect of anyone on this blog.

  •  I have NEVER had unprotected sex (0+ / 0-)

    except at the times when my ex wife and I were trying to create children.

    Outside of that, never. Not once.

    Because my parents were open, non judgemental, didn't have illusions about "abstinence", and told me what condoms were.

    My daughters will have condoms in their purses when they start dating.

    Bruce is still God, but Michael Phelps is moving up the rankings.

    by ChurchofBruce on Tue Sep 02, 2008 at 09:41:30 PM PDT

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