Now that the GOP freak show, er convention, is over, how are the faithful to fill the void? Here are worthy activities for good Republicans:
Put together a list of synonyms for uppity other than "elitist."
Practice the goose step. It scares the hell out of Jews and blacks, plus it's great exercise.
Dye your hair blonder and touch up wrinkles with more botox. Party homogeneity is so important.
The census says whites will be a minority in a few years, so have a baby. Or five.
Buy a fur coat and wear it to San Francisco.
Order a copy of Protocols of the Elders of Zion for your homeschoolers.
Stock up on ammo. The Democrats will probably lose in November as usual but you don't want to be caught unprepared.
Fry bacon outside a mosque.
Watch Triumph of the Will a few more hundred times to perfect the rapt expression feigned by spectators at GOP public events and to fully harmonize those USA chants.
Make your own Barack Obama dart board.
Go to a gay bar and yell "fire."
Send a love letter to Anne Coulter. If female, to Bill O'Reilly.
Drive through an inner-city neighborhood blasting John Denver.
Burn a cross.
Burn some books.
Drill for oil in your own back yard.