Years ago, when the second wave of feminism was still fresh, one complaint of many women was that too many men were reluctant to open up, that they kept their true feelings to themselves, which made deep communication difficult. However, speaking to a small group of us at a conference of the New American Movement, Barbara Ehrenreich warned that perhaps there were pitfalls. If the clamor for men to talk openly about their feelings continued, she said, someday men might do just that and women would be sorry they ever asked.
Her joke sparked much laughter. But rather too often since then, I have been reminded of her tongue-in-cheek warning when some fellow on my side of the gender line makes a brutally stupid but apparently honest announcement of his inner thoughts. Such was the case Thursday on "Squawk on the Street," when Donny Deutsch, host of CNBC's "The Big Idea," and author of what clearly is the appropriately named Often Wrong, Never in Doubt, got to talking about Sarah Palin as a "product," the "new feminist ideal," the woman women "want to be" and men "want to mate with," the woman he wants lying in bed next to him.
DEUTSCH: There is the new creation that the feminist woman has not figured out in 40 years of the feminist ideal that men can take in a woman in power and women can celebrate a woman in power. Hillary Clinton didn’t figure it out. She didn’t put a skirt on! [...]
She [Palin] talked about energy. Didn’t matter! Today everybody’s running in circles — we want to have her over for dinner. I trust her. I want her watching my kids. I want her laying next to me in bed. That’s the way people vote. ...
Guys, this is a seminal moment.
Watch for yourself:
The difference between this guy and the fellow who stands on the sidewalk grabbing his crotch and waggling his tongue at every woman who walks by is mere vocabulary. And, of course, the fact that Donny has a bigger platform than a sidewalk from which to amplify his message. Both of them actually believe they're saying something positive to and about women.
One woman whose opinions I often seek out watched this four-minute catcall and kind of shrugged. Just a sexist asshole in her view, in a world where sexist assholes are not in short supply. Her sexism exhaustion is understandable. If your outrage gauge red-lines too often, it's hard to get on with everyday life. And, as women long ago learned, speak up too much and you'll be labeled a whiner, a shrill, humorless, prudish bitch. Where's the gain in that?
As Donny points out, successfully marketing yourself as a powerful woman (or having someone do it for you), whether in business or politics, means making sure the men around you are checking out your ass, want you lying in their beds, want you taking care of their kids. Marketing yourself to women means ensuring they want to be like you. Work out for yourself how the women may feel about your taking care of their kids while you mate with their husbands.
As Georgia10 wrote earlier today in Real Vetting Roundup, there's plenty to criticize when it comes to why the Republican candidate is an appallingly poor choice for vice president, stuff that has nothing to do with her sex life, her sexual allure or the very fact she is a woman. Unfortunately, while the tavern-level "analysis" offered by Donny Deutsch has arguably lowered the bar and demeaned us all, his is far from the only critique that has crossed the line in this long-running campaign.