As we enter the crucial part of the general election, I thought it was time to take a quick break, and have a bit of a laugh at what's been going on in the news. Here's a quick recap of the weeks breaking stories.
IT'S OFFICIAL
John McCain officially accepted his party’s Presidential nomination last night. And after his speech, he rode of into the sunset.....on his Rascal.
After hearing his speech, it’s quite evident McCain is Mr. "noun, verb, and P.O.W."
JOBS GETTING WORSE
The nation’s unemployment rate boomed to a five-year high of 6.1 percent in August as employers slashed 84,000 jobs. These numbers would have been out sooner but all the people in the Labor Dept. Statistics Division lost there jobs months ago.
REPUBS CRYING FOUL
Republicans are now crying "sexism" over the treatment of Gov. Sarah Palin by the media. According to Republicans, sexism is only ok when they are trashing Hillary Clinton.
NEW ORLEANS RECOVERS
Thousands of people are still without power in New Orleans in the aftermath of Hurricane Gustav. There was however, still enough light to rob and loot abandoned houses.
One man was arrested yesterday for stealing a toaster from an appliance store. Because if there is one thing you need in a hurricane, it's warm pop tarts.
GUSTAV AFTERMATH
New pictures show some of New Orleans levee's are breaching. When President Bush heard something was breaching, he said, "I thought Bristol Palin wasn't due for a few more months."
MORE CONTROVERSY FOR PALIN
VP Nominee Sarah Palin announced yesterday her 17 yr old daughter is now pregnant. To clear his name immediately, Kevin Federline said he is NOT the father.
Palin supports "abstinence only" programs which apparently didn't work. "Abstinence Only" is like putting a cookie in front of a child, telling him not to eat it, and then walking out of the room. You KNOW he's going in for a taste!
P. DIDDY IS P. O'd
P. Diddy said, due to high gas prices, he can no longer fly his private jet and must take commercial flights from now on. It must be pretty embarrassing being forced to drink Cristal in first class with the commoners.
A STORMS A-COMING
According to experts, Hurricane Gustav may raise gasoline prices by at least fifteen cents a gallon. After hearing this, Hurricane Gustav was made an official honorary member of the Republican Party.
For more, check out my daily column The Daily Diss