So what kind of “Change” does Sarah Palin really represent?
CHANGE in John McCain’s position on Earmarks for one. After all, it was John McCain who criticized Sarah Palin in 2001 for being one of the biggest Earmark abusers in the Country. Glad he came around on that one.
CHANGE in Sarah’s position on the Bridge to Nowhere.
She was fer it before she was agin’ it – against it right after her buddy Ted Stevens was facing indictment.
CHANGE in the number of books on the shelves of the Wasilla Public Library. As my personal nominee for the Joseph Goebbels Award for Literature, Sarah tried to remove the books that God told her were bad. Apparently, God told her the Librarian was bad too. Fortunately, she remembered which one was to be fired and which ones were to be set on fire.
READ ON...
CHANGE in the loose change of Wasillans. First, with her train to Nowhere (Wasilla to Ted Stevens' private resort town) and then the icing on the skate - The Sarah Palin Memorial Ice Escapades Rink – an over-priced structure that was built without legal approval or legal funding. And not even an icing call! Go “Pit Bulls!”
CHANGE in the National Parks. “God” told Sarah to spend 300 Million US taxpayer dollars to build an oil pipeline to benefit Alaskans, only.
What's the difference between Sarah Palin and an oil-soaked dip stick?...Lipstick!
wbramh
CHANGE in Iraq. “God” told Sarah that we needed to invade a sovereign Country and not to worry – He’d find a bunch of excuses to attack but was still working on the withdrawal part.
CHANGE in Family Values – Not the Palin family’s values – just everybody else’s.
CHANGE in the US flag - back down to 49 stars. Hubby Todd was a member in good standing in the Alaskan Independence Party, a Secessionist group. Sarah was the special Guest Speaker at their Lunatic Convention. To quote AIP's founder, Joe Vogler: "The fires of hell are frozen glaciers compared to my hatred for the American government. ... And I won't be buried under their damn flag." Meet Sarah Palin’s Jeremiah Wright.
CHANGE in the abortion laws. No more abortions for rape and incest victims. I guess those women and young girls were asking for it. And thanks to Sarah and other Abstinence Only foot soldiers, the U.S. of A is now #1 among Industrialized nations in teen pregnancies. USA! USA!
CHANGE in the climate. Sarah declared that Global Warming doesn’t exit. Apparently, the Polar Bears are not drowning – it’s a mass suicide.
CHANGE from Evolution, back to Creationism. According to Sarah, Fred Flintstone really did ride a dinosaur to work. She wants Alaskan school children to get it right or no more Saturday cartoons! (I thought Spencer Tracy and Frederick March settled this years ago).
"Palintology"... a non-science dealing with the life of past geological periods as known from ignoring fossil remains.
From Webster's 7th Edition Dictionary with special thanks to my most clever friend, Paul S. for his additional and subtractional (not really a word) translation.
CHANGE in Polar Bears. Even the Bush Administration thought they were going extinct until Sarah counted them and told us there were too many that still weren’t drowning.
CHANGE in the number of wolves. Sarah likes to shoot them from planes. I suppose the wolves are the ones in the plane – that would be more sporting.
CHANGE in the head of Alaska’s State Troopers – Twice! The first one was fired for not firing Sarah’s Trooper ex-brother-in-law. The one she hired lasted two weeks. Seems he was under indictment for Sexual Harassment at his last gig. Wow. Who knew?
CHANGE in the selling price of the Governor’s jet. No, she didn’t sell it on Ebay for a profit after all. She sold it for a loss to a private broker. But a great Alaska-sized yarn, told and retold by John McCain himself - and his Merry Band of Lying Surrogates.
CHANGE between the US and those Ex-Commie Ruskies. Sarah knows all about Putin. Five Republican surrogates (including the next Secretary of State, Cindy McCain) have declared Sarah ready for the International stage since Russia is right across the Bering Sea from Alaska (seriously). Sara and Putin are practically neighbors. Probably could see him on a clear day if he wasn't so short.
And finally, Sarah brings us Warm & Fuzzy togetherness.
CHANGE for our one big happy American family.
No More Red States and Blue States - Just Red States!
She’s going to paint those Democrats and the Press as the un-American East Coast Elitists they are, and that’s just one step up from those do-nothing Community Organizers.
You know, effete slackers, like Jesus and Martin Luther King.
Bet neither one of them ever gutted and skinned a baby seal.