Did you know that if Barack Obama wins all the Kerry states plus New Mexico, Colorado and Iowa he'll be the 44th President of the United States?
Did you know that there are still 26, 28 and 44 days respectively to register voters in those states?
Did you ALSO know that New Mexico has the highest rate of Super Models willing to have sex with average-looking, out-of-towners who travel there in order to volunteer for the Obama campaign?
Yes!
YES!
It's all TRUE!*
Did you know that in Colorado, those jeans that make your ass look big... fit PERFECTLY... and... if you walk around a college campus handing out registration forms... they'll look that way FOREVER?
100% true!*
Did you know that in Iowa residents from adjacent states are given free massages, puppies and chocolate-covered diamonds when they spend ONE WEEKEND convincing Democrats to vote for President.
137.5% true!*
Did you know that in Virginia... where the registration deadline is OCTOBER 6TH... in exchange for getting a dozen citizens on the voter rolls, you can have all your bad memories from middle school (even the ones from gym class) permanently expunged from your memory?
True X 2*
How about the fact that in Michigan... where the voter Registration deadline is also OCTOBER 6TH... they promise that while canvassing, you'll meet that boy/girl who rejected you in high school and discover that he/she has grown nose hair that reaches his/her chin?
That'd be true SQUARED!*
Did you know that in Ohio... where the voter registration deadline is also, also OCTOBER 6TH... pina colada's are 12% colder, getting caught in the rain is 33% more romantic. Also, there are twice as many people who are not into yoga, who also have half-a-brain and like making love at midnight in the cool of the cape!
Why pay for the true, when you get get the true here for free*
Florida... where the voter registration deadline is also, also, also October 6th... has han a massive influx of men who look like George Cloony and woman who are daily mistaken for Halle Barry, with the only catch being that they spend ALL THEIR TIME in democratic strongholds with many would-be first time voters and only respond to the pick-up line, "Hey, honey, are you registered to vote?"
Great Grandmother Gertie called and told me, so it must be TRUE*
And in Nevada, where you can sign up new voters until OCTOBER 14th, casinos are offering free entrance into the World Series of Poker (as well as a lap dance from your favorite Supreme Court Justice) to anyone who brings in 50 fully filled-out voter registration cards!*
As for other important states, you can find THEIR voter registration deadlines, in the following chart, which has been proven to raise you IQ by 50 points just by looking at it!
Oh, and, if you check your OWN voter registration status here you can have that extra banana, fudge sundae without ever having to work it off at the gym!*