I am finding this election cycle to be, without question, the most interesting one I have experienced in my couple of decades plus of paying attention. Not only are we seeing new boundaries being crossed, with the nomination of an African-American for President and a woman for Vice President; not only do we have an amazing candidate who addresses hard issues head-on, quite unlike any other Presidential candidate I have ever seen; and not only are we experiencing some extremely weird twists and turns, such as sexist McCain accusing Obama of sexism.
This election is interesting to me on a different level: it's the first presidential election in which I have a child who is old enough to see his parents extremely interested in (obsessed with?) election coverage, wonder why, and ask interesting questions.
More musings below the fold...
I am, really, amazed at the conversations I have gotten into with Son #1, who turned 6 two days ago. He's been thoroughly engaged and interested in this election since early on in the primary process, when he was 4. Son #2, who is 2, couldn't care less, of course, but #1 loves to ask him who he will vote for, at which he happily spouts "O-Bam-Bam."
The 6-year-old obviously doesn't always understand (or care about) what we talk about, but he asks interesting questions, and provides a fascinating viewpoint. Having his perspective there has added to mine and my partner's. Finding ways that he can understand to explain issues has been challenging and has made me think in different ways about the issues. Thinking about his enthusiasm and where it comes from (for instance, how much is he really thinking about the issues, and how much of his enthusiasm is really just wanting to connect with his parents on something that is obviously important to us?) has given me food for thought on whether there are implications regarding how adults choose sides.
One observation I have made is that he thinks of the election, as he thinks of many things, in terms of a good/bad dichotomy. The person we support is good, and the person we don't support is bad, with very little room for anything in between. In the general election, and especially as the McCain campaign dives deeper into the sewage, I have to say I agree with him for the most part. But this was a very interesting challenge during the primary: how to talk about the nuances of the race, when many of the candidates have positives to recommend them, and any of them would be better than the alternative. I found myself talking about the specifics of how the candidates felt on the issues, when he would say things like, "We like Obama, but Clinton is bad, right?"
Thinking about this good/bad dichotomy, I came to the conclusion that usually, American politics is stuck in the good vs. evil mode, and it reflects the way we relate to the world in general. Would a working multi-party system help Americans break free of this simplistic worldview by offering us more choices in politics than good or bad?
We've always had political discussions around the boys. I am a long-time pro-choice activist and until recently I worked at a fabulous organization working to improve access to reproductive health services. Both my sons came to work with me for the first 12 to 18 months of their lives, and we have had many discussions over the years describing to them what I do and why I do it. Let me tell you, it really takes a nuanced approach to properly reflect all the complicated issues around abortion and access to it, especially when you are talking to a child. But, especially since the beginning of the election cycle, we have had many conversations about why women might choose abortion and what happens when the choice is not there, especially for rural or poor women. He may not know yet whether he thinks abortion is "killing a baby," but he hopefully has some empathy for people affected by the need for it.
In talking about why I dread a McCain presidency, I've had conversations with him about birth control access, and abstinence-based sex education - which of course led to "Mama, what is sex?" My partner chuckled under his breath at that, saying "good luck with that one!" But we had a nice discussion about it despite my sputtering a little, and hopefully I began an ongoing open conversation about sex that will help him to think of it as a natural part of a committed relationship rather than a way to rebel or defy authority, or exert control or power.
My current work is at an LGBTQ advocacy organization, and living in California, of course the issue of same-sex marriage has come up with my son. Living in Berkeley, we have as many friends on the gay side of the spectrum as on the heterosexual side, and we know tons of kids with same-sex parents. He has never known anything other than that this is normal. When we start talking about same-sex marriage, he is baffled as to why it is even an issue. It has opened up a way to talk about bigotry and closed-mindedness.
Lots of other issues have come up: war and the consequences of it; drought (especially an issue in California right now) and other environmental issues; hurricanes, and what happened in New Orleans; feminism; sexism and racism; our privilege and the fact that other people around the world don't have the advantages we do, or even enough food (I still remember when he gathered all his change, a total of about $6, and handed it to his grandmother, telling her to send it to the people who didn't have enough to eat).
I know that part of his excitement is because we are excited, because we tell him that this will always be thought of as a special moment in history. We are a no-TV household, and it is almost unheard of for us to put on the streaming internet and watch something over dinner, but we did for the Democratic and then the Republican conventions. Every night he would ask if we were going to watch, and he'd sit quietly through them. A couple of days ago, at the beginning of dinner, he asked, "can we watch the campaigns?" When I said no, he gave a big pout, and said, "I wish we could watch the campaigns all the time!"
I wonder what he will remember from this time period? Maybe, seeing his dad and I get so worked up about this election will give him a sense that it is necessary to be an involved citizen. Hopefully, he will get the message that integrity and honor win over lies and meanness. I hope that he remembers this as the momentous time that it is, and the beginning of a lifetime of interest in positive social change.
By the way, this is my first diary, and I hope the topic is an appropriate one - I know it's more personal than most diaries I see. Feel free to give feedback!