Although in various comment threads I have been criticized for my overly lengthy and haughty style of writing, I will proceed to talk about myself in that same style of writing throughout most of this diary in the hope that it will make me seem intelligent. I have a great many views on this election, and I intend to make them all known in this diary. By the way, these views of mine are very intelligent and insightful, in addition to being novel and creative. Barack Obama would do well to read this diary and take note of my views, and then proceed to adopt them as his own, as it is the only way he can win.
However, the fact that my creative, intelligent, and insightful views need to be adopted by the Obama campaign should not under any circumstances be taken as fear or fearmongering. I believe that what Obama is doing in his campaign is absolutely correct and should not be criticized, which is what I am not doing. So there. Obama needs to attack the Republicans very hard and be mean to them, like really mean, I mean like really bad noogie mean. See, I too can abandon my highfalutin style that marks me as an arbiter of intelligence on this site to speak the common language of the common people, of whom I am a member. Not the sort of member you are thinking of, the respectable sort of member. But not so respectable as to be elitist, for then I would be out of touch. So don't even think about touching my member. Obama needs to make people hate Sarah Palin, but he can't talk about her. That would make him look bad. I think he should write mean notes about her and pass them around, and then if someone asks, say that Joe Lieberman did it.
Which leaves us at the ultimate crux of the issue: How do we defeat John McCain? I believe that Obama needs to adopt a powerful mix of strategies, such as attacking real hard while staying above the fray and maybe telling everyone he saw McCain and Larry Craig walk into the Senate bathroom together, and when he tried to pee it was really hard cuz he could feel them listening in the stall(s) and it kept distracting him.