Many of us, who don't believe that either party is the holder of all knowledge or honor wonder where "my friend," John McCain has gone. You remember, John McCain, candidate for President in the year 2000. The maverick who rode the Straight Talk Express. Some say he was brutally assasinated at the hands of his own kind in South Carolina, but others regularly claim sightings all over the United States. Most of these sightings are reported in or near Washington, D.C.
John, my friend, was truly a maverick. A war hero from a family of war heroes. Cocky, brash, and a coating of teflon (well except for that miserable vacation in North Viet Nam). He suffered plane crashes, incarceration, divorce, scandal, and cancer. Suddenly he disappeared.
Oh sure, there are John McCain impersonators, like the guy that said GWB's tax cuts were irresponsible, or the one that supported campaign finance reform. And of course, the John McCain that supported Immigration Reform. Who could forget him? That was just last year.
Now we have this zombie calling himself John McCain, running for President. He reminds you of an aging, paunchy Elvis wearing that famous white jumpsuit that had become so tight it ripped the seams when he tried to recreate his best moves.
This John McCain no longer rides the Straight Talk Express. The story is that he tried to get it going again but it took a sharp right turn and ran off the road. Now he gets around by hitchin with some young gal that picked him up. Common folk say he's going to change their lives. Bring honor back to America. Others claim it's all just a lie.
It's my feeling that these stories, just like the Elvis sightings are folklore. I mean, the real John McCain would never be in favor of fighting wars that we couldn't pay for, and he'd never flip flop on the issues that made him the "Original Maverick!"
I guess its time to bring out Dion Dimucci for one last performance:
Has anybody here, seen my old friend John?
Can you tell me where he's gone.....