Hey, how ya doin’? Cold enough for ya? What? Coffee? Sure! You can afford that? Wow.
I think there’s a Starbuck’s left... oh, nope. Closed down again. Shit. Yeah, there’s a 7-11 somewhere hereabouts.
How the hell do you have $20 for a cup of coffee? Nah, it’s OK, just jealous is all.
What do you mean ‘what happened?’ Oh, you’ve been away? Well, OK. Makes sense, I guess. We’re just getting ready for President Palin’s inauguration. Whoa! Hey, buddy, you know it’s not a good idea to breathe coffee, right? You OK?
Yeah, I said President Palin. What, you missed that too? Yeah, the Dems had someone running against her, but I can’t even remember their name now... too much media coverage about McCain dying for them to make any headway on that one. Wave of public sympathy, tears in Congress, you know the deal, right?
Besides, everyone knew Palin; she’s been running the show since ’09, after McCain had that stroke, you know? What? Jesus, you really are out of it, aren’t you? Got melanoma again, had chemo, stroked out after the third session... Palin got the nod from Congress and the rest is history. He was in intensive care until last October, refused to pull the plug. Got weekly updates from Prez Palin, very sad, thumbs-up pictures, kept showing the old film of his return from Vietnam, that sort of thing.
Well, no, now you come to mention it, no-one ever really saw him, just messages and a few pics, you know? Yeah, I heard some blog rumors about conspiracies, never bought into it much. Well, no-one does any more, not since the blogs were forced offshore ‘cause of energy rates. Speaking of which, it’s blackout time anyway, may as well get out of here before the lights go out.
What? Yeah, the blogs went offshore, with Google and Yahoo and the rest; said International waters wer better for the tax structure or something. And then Palin passed that bill that restricted blog gossip – too much scaremongering and too many rumors out there, I tell you. You know there was one once that said that she was unqualified to be president? Yeah, I tell you; Google was forced to dump its snapshots by the government, refused, got trashed, ran out into international waters and then the story broke that they were all Communist sympathizers. Well, didn’t take too much to convince us of that, you know; I mean, they were moored less than 200 miles from Cuba, for fuck’s sake!
The blackouts? Oh, about three years now. Gas went up to about 8 bucks a gallon, stopped for a bit, then went up past $15, energy taxes went up to pay for offshore drilling and new fuels research. Real kick in the guts when Palin announced there was no viable alternative, you know? Yeah, I know people say there’s a bunch, but there was no incentive for it. Well, it was on the news, so it must be true, you know!
Of course there’s an internet; well, the USNet. Palin won’t allow total access to the other Internet; too many viruses, too much cozying up to foreign powers; you know the Europeans wanted access to our Internet? Claimed it was "protectionism"! Fuck ‘em! Almost glad the stock market crashed, you know? No stock market, no foreign involvement. They leave us alone, we leave them alone. Well, unless they threaten us. Then we blow ‘em up.
Yeah, I didn’t get conscripted ‘cause of this hand, see? I tell you, having no medical insurance was a blessing in disguise. If I hadn’t lost it, I’d have been killed in Iran like eighty percent of my grade school class. Lucky, huh?
Oh, Let’s see... After Iran was North Korea, then Russia... yeah, that was a fuck-up of royal proportions. Europeans again, see? If they’d helped us out, we’d definitely have won that one. Well, maybe. Still, Georgia’s free... what’s left of it anyway.
You don’t look well... you OK? Oh, sure, I’ll be here. Yeah, you could say I live nearby. See that Sears? I live there, now. No, we lost our house after the second mortgage crash, when the bad loans used to shore up the last one were called in. That wiped out even the normal markets, let alone the subprimes... Nah, I guess McCain didn’t understand the economy, but then again, who does these days?
(Started to get angry for some reason.. churned this out... No Tip jar today. Just needed to write :D )