Feeling mildly slighted by Devilstower in this otherwise excellent piece on small town values, I’ve been here at the ranch, mentally composing my first diary entry—a defense of traditional rural values and a case for Barack Obama as the champion of traditional American values.
With increasing frustration as I tried to cram the issues of modern politics into this idyllic metaphor, I finally came to realize that I hear so much bullshit these days I can’t possibly wade through it all: our food is poisonous, our natural resources are wasted, our financial system is floating on worthless derivative paper, our schools and health are failing, Orwellian Newspeak masquerades as balance, our military tortures prisoners, our treasury is insolvent and our Judiciary is enslaved.
Whew.
All of which being too much for me to process that fresh, breezy afternoon, I decided to watch a movie instead. Now, you have to understand, I’m no movie buff. "Watch a movie" is a euphemism for "Take a nap." When I moved into this hunting shack, there were a TV/VCR unit and more than a dozen retired Blockbuster tapes, and I still haven’t watched (slept through) them all, almost two years later. So I popped in The Majestic, the 2001 Jim Carrey movie, and settled into my pillows.
In this film, Carrey plays Peter Appleton, an ambitious, hardworking Hollywood screenwriter who, like your diarist, can’t believe the amount of bullshit he hears every day. With a shrug and a smile, he shoulders through it all, making his way, saying whatever they want to hear. He’s managed to see his first film credit on screen and has another in production when he is accused of being a communist and called before the Committee on Un-American Activities. Production is cancelled and Peter is shunned, although, he is assured, there is no blacklist. Like others before him, he must make a simple, ghastly choice. Will he publicly renounce a phony affiliation to the Communist Party and end the matter at once, or will he insist on the truth and go to jail for contempt of Congress?
Peter can’t decide. He’s certainly no communist. He likes making money, and, really, he just wants this particular bullshit to go away as soon as possible. So he gets drunk and takes a drive in the country. In a precious cinematic detail, a baby opossum runs out in front of him on a wooden bridge, and he swerves to miss it, crashing his car into the river below and hitting his head.
An old man and dog find Peter unconscious the next morning on the bank of the river, somewhere downstream. Peter remembers nothing—total amnesia.
Walking into the idyllic small town with the old man who found him, he hears the stories, faces the photographs of their sons, lost in war. Sacrificing more than their fair share, the entire town of Lawson is a war memorial; though, in their grief, they’ve been unable to remove the commemorative statue from the basement of the Town Hall.
All the townspeople find Peter vaguely familiar. Harry, proprietor of the crumbling movie theater in town, another casualty of the war, recognizes his son, Luke, declared killed in action but never repatriated. Luke’s miraculous return from death inspires Harry to re-open The Majestic. Peter is skeptical, so Harry takes him to the cemetery and places Luke’s Medal of Honor around his neck, describing the courage and valor the young man stood for in life and in death. Peter emerges believing, as they all believe that he is Luke.
Luke’s girlfriend since they were both fourteen, Adel, takes him to see the memorial in the basement, a gift from Roosevelt, and admits that she is not convinced he’s Luke... but maybe. The two of them, on doctor’s orders, visit all the old familiar places in an attempt to stimulate Luke’s memory. Adel tells him she wants to be a lawyer because a movie she saw in The Majestic when she was eleven inspired a love of justice and defense of freedom. His memory is stimulated, and he remembers lines from the movie. On the lighthouse where they had shared their first kiss so many years before, they are both stimulated again.
Back in the big city, the Majority Counsel for the Committee on Un-American Activities has deemed Peter’s latest screenplay to be Communist propaganda and orders the Hoover FBI to locate him.
Lawson throws a hero’s welcome for Luke, acclaiming that his return gives meaning to their suffering. Vitality infects the town. Everyone pitches in to re-open The Majestic with Luke at the helm. The war memorial is installed on the town square as the Star Spangled Banner plays. Life in Lawson, California finally returns to normal with the theater’s glittery opening night.
Peter’s first movie plays and Luke remembers everything. Simultaneously, Harry suffers a massive heart attack in the camera booth. From his deathbed, he asks for Luke. Peter tearfully lets Harry die believing his son had come home. After the funeral, Peter tells Adel who he is, and she runs away. The Feds show up and accuse him in front of the whole town of Communist affiliations. Back in the cemetery, Peter assures Adel he’s innocent but plans to cooperate to clear his name. She insists he can only clear himself with the truth. Luke would have stood up to these people, she challenges. He admits his cowardice, she admits her disgust.
In shame, he goes back to the city, carrying with him the Medal of Honor and a bound copy of the United States Constitution given to Adel by Luke, along with Luke’s last letter to her in which he wrote,
"When bullies rise up, the rest of us have to beat them back down, whatever the cost. That’s a simple idea, I suppose, but one worth giving everything for."
Appearing before the committee, cameras rolling, Peter still plans to capitulate, right up to the moment when the words of his prepared statement stick in his throat. As Adel and all of Lawson listen on radio, Peter pulls the book out of his pocket and pleads the First Amendment, invoking his rights bought with the blood of Luke Trimble and all the brave, honorable sons of America who died for the Constitution. He condemns the committee and walks out as the gavel pounds, expecting arrest and resigned to prison. Instead, he is again hailed as a hero, this time on his own merits. He returns to Lawson, marries Adel, and they all live happily ever after.
So it all seems so simple to me now. Today, September 17, Constitution Day, also known as Citizenship Day, when we celebrate the ratification of this great beacon of freedom, hope and humanity, we need to stand together to beat down the bullies who spread bullshit while selling our nation to foreigners.
To the bullshitters, especially the lobbyists and quarterly-profit-statement-crowd who run the Palin’ McCain campaign, we need to stand together, ready to give all if necessary, and say,
"It’s the Constitution, Stupid!"