Let's just stand back for a minute and review what we've learned about conservatives this week:
- The best way to help the people who need it the most is by giving trillions in tax cuts and tax deductions to the richest who need it the least. The fact that this hasn't worked for eight years is justification to make it permanent.
- Republicans are willing to blow a trillion or more in Iraq and call anyone who doesn't go along unpatriotic, but we can't afford healthcare for Americans and must instead rely on deregulating insurance companies (No, I'm not making that up) and taxing healthcare benefits; anyone who argues otherwise is anti-American.
- This Just In: John McCain Invented the Blackberry!
- When CEOs drive century old Wall Street investment banks and multinational insurance firms into the ground with sheer greed and incompetence it's the responsibility of taxpayers to bail them out. When those taxpayers lose their jobs, homes, and healthcare because of corporate greed and incompetence, they're on their own.
- First dudes don't have to bother answering state investigators or responding to bipartisan subpoenas, as long as they're married to a Republican politician.
- John McCain was really all for regulation all along, after he and his party deregulated everything in sight, and hired the same dereg fundamentalists that flew the economy into the side of a mountain to run his campaign.
- The incoherent rantings of a African witch-hunting dominionist lunatic who sees demons hovering in the air are a respectable endorsement for being elected Vice-President.
- This Just In: Sarah Palin is a Young Earth Creationist End-O-the-World-Nutter.
- Republicans refer to pointing out any of the above as 'finger pointing' and 'lecturing,' while lecturing and pointing their fat sweating guilty sausage-like fingers at anyone who wanders into sight for the colossal failures of their own warped ideology.
Wow! How could they possibly top that? It sounds impossible, but maybe those wacky conservatives will confound us all and find a way to be even more ridiculous. Tune in next Saturday to find out if they succeed in This Week in Conservatism!