They have called me out on it. I'm an elitist, just like Barack Obama.
For many years now, I have been sure of one thing. I am far superior to any of them.
You might call me a child of priv*i*lege (jeez, spelling nazis...). I was raised in a middle class family with a stainless steel spoon in my greedy little mouth.
Growing up, my parents were so part of the elite that I only got the best toys. For example, I didn't get that common He-Man action figure, I only got his alter-ego, Prince Adam. Sort of like a Clark Kent doll. And Clark Kent is a real man. Superman? He's an elitist what with his thinking he's better than everyone else just because he can fly and shoot laser beams out of his eyes and stuff.
When I got to high school, I was definitely one of the elite. I hated sports, I never dated a cheerleader and I was in the drama club. Oh, sorry, the elite club. Of course, I was in the popular crowd in school, just like any other trench coat-wearing little gutterpunk would be.
Then, there was college. I went to a totally elitist school- Indiana University. Oh, I've heard it all before... "Oo la la! Indiana University! Aren't we so superior!" My parents couldn't afford an Ivy League school like an average person can. The snobs.
And, of course, when I was in college, I had very little money to support myself, like the aristocrat I am. I lived like a king, having every possible flavor of ramen noodles at my fingertips!
Once I entered the working world, I worked at the elite job of duplicating cassette tapes for language classes and musicians for a small business that had been around for 25 years. I know, I know, working for a small business in such a high-class job totally shows my arrogance.
These days, I'm out of work- or, I should say, I'm too good for work. I snub my noses at those little people below me driving around in their BMWs and Porsches as I sit high and mighty in my 1999 Honda Civic. Yes, when I go back to my rented apartment and spend the evening not watching the cable TV I can't afford, I am safe in the knowledge that I am one of the elite.
And that's why I'm voting for Barack Obama.