It's time again to document another generational observation as I wrap up month number one of my sophomore year of college. Before I begin I should mention that I'm fully aware of the fact that this is only an observation, and will therefore be peppered with numerous personal references and thoughts. I'll try to keep it general, but let's be honest, I will fail in that respect numerous times throughout this entry. You've been warned.
This is, after all, a "diary", isn't it?
Also, I know that dailykos is a political blogging site, and this really has nothing to do with politics, so if you're the type of person who feels the urge to needlessly point this out to me in the comment section, try to resist (or move on to a different diary). This is my attempt at social commentary, and if it annoys you, I respect that. Just don't tell me about it.
Here's the thing about college: in any given week, I'd say I spend about 20% of the time thinking about my academics, give or take. Don't worry, I'm having no problems with my grades, partially thanks to the fact that I've chosen to major in a field that thoroughly interests me (the classics) rather than waste my time toiling through five classes per semester that I despise in order to prepare myself for a prosperous career somewhere down the line. One of my good friends here is majoring in biomedical engineering, but she can't stand her biology, chemistry and physics classes, and I can't tell you how many people here are in a similar predicament. And if I have to answer the question, "so, uh, what exactly can you do with a classics degree?" one more time, I'm gonna flip. But I digress...
The point is, that other 80% of the time is generally devoted to outside issues, like future aspirations, politics, sports (what the hell, the Niners are 2-1?) and my social life. At the risk of sounding whiny, there is a part of me that would love to meet a girl who is sensitive, caring and down to earth, but I never imagined how difficult that would be. On any given night when I find myself in any sort of social gathering, I sometimes discreetly take a look around me, and it's tough not to grow tired of seeing the same thing over and over again. People getting wasted, girls making out with 20 year old guys who have 60 year old beer bellies... Every once in a while I have to listen to some dude tell me about this incredible night he spent with "this one freshman whore who was wasted out of her mind"- and very open to experimentation. It can be entertaining, but it doesn't take long for the whole routine to start grinding on me.
The other night at around 3 AM, I was perusing the internet when I stumbled across a cool poetry website that held my attention for the next hour or so before I went to sleep (and nearly slept right on through an early morning math quiz).
Before I continue, I'll point out that I love to write, and I love to read other peoples' writing. There are a lot of things in the world that make me happy, and a lot of things that make me sad, but writing makes me feel euphoric. Even if I sit for an hour and only manage to crank out a dozen sentences or so, if it's an excellent dozen sentences, it can really make my day. Weird, I know.
But about halfway through a Robert Frost poem, I started thinking about how great it would be to write something for a girl that completely knocked her off her feet and won her over. You know, the kind of stuff that makes her feel really happy and good about herself (and slightly embarrassed). But then reality struck, and I realized how utterly foolish this would be in today's age. People just don't like this stuff.
Instead, they seem to be focused on one thing: hooking up. As in, "so and so went out to the club and left with some guy, and they were really drunk and they had sex, and she hasn't seem him since." Or, "they're just friends but they've been hooking up a lot lately".
Okay, I'm done complaining.
My point is, college romance has devolved. If you like somebody, don't write a letter, or come out and say what you like about him or her. Take some vodka shots with them, and see if you can't spend the night together. In my nearly useless psychological and sociological perspective, I think the core of this predicament is loneliness (although I'm not dumb, a lot of people really just want to get laid). Delve into a deep conversation with almost anyone here, and you will surely get to the issue of feeling lost and lonely. In a country where the quick fix is the remedy of choice, a random hook up is the easiest way to feel the rush of connecting with somebody, even if it is only artificial. Developing a relationship is too drawn out and difficult, not to mention risky, so people shy away from it.
Meanwhile, the guys who genuinely like a girl, and daydream about making her smile rather than making her orgasm, are left in a bit of a rut. The Daisys and Tom Buchanans of the world can survive, but Gatsby is screwed from the outset. Every time.
I'd like to hear your thoughts on... Um... My thoughts. Also, I apologize for my tendency to frequently lose focus. I'm a master of a certain delicate writing technique called, "verbal vomit".