Well, we're in an extraordinary time my friends (pun intended). A day from the first Presidential debate and we don't even know if our opponent will have the guts to show up. Instead, he is urgently needed in Washington to fix the economic crisis. Despite not being on the committee which would actually deal with the problem.
Our guy, being a 21st century man, was probably informed of the wonders of the teleconference and feels he can continue to campaign.
So we have a debate tomorrow, with no opponent. So I have a few suggestions on who could replace John. If you're up for a little snark and a little ranting, jump with me to the fold.
In no particular order, I suggest the following people to replace John McCain tomorrow night.
Sarah Palin
Why not? If you weren't paying close attention you would have thought it was Palin/McCain anyway. She's been nominated for Vice President of the United States of America. A 72 year old heartbeat away from Commander in Chief. Surely she knows her stuff well enough to handle a debate. If not, she's even more unqualified for the job than we thought.
Newt Gingrich
I'm no fan of Newt. He and I likely agree on about 1% of things. But you know why I place him high on this list? Because he's one of a half dozen (at best) Republicans I actually think would have big enough brass ones to show up.
Bob Dole
Hey, I realize it was twelve years ago, but the guy had the guts to show up every time for a sound Clinton ass kicking. I bet you Bob Dole would show up to tell you how Bob Dole can help you with Bob Dole's plan....Bob Dole.
Betcha he'd show up
Joe Scarborough
Obviously Joe and I agree on almost nothing. And yet I'd love to see an Obama vs Scarborough debate. When you've spent so much time talking to a brick wall, a wooden one doesn't sound that bad.
And, I bet you Joe has the guts to show up on less than 24 hours notice
Joe Lieberman
I can't think of a single Republican I'd want to see debate more than Republican Joe Lieberman...Republican.
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
With his latest "the American empire is about to collapse" hogwash, lets bring him in to discuss it with Barack. The tone and style won't be much different from a Republican, just from a different direction.
Joe Biden
Should Barack show up to no opponent, just debate your VP! Lets talk about how best to insure every single American. Lets talk about how best to never fight another war. Lets talk about how best to return this country to the condition that Bush inherited and beyond.
Dean Cain and Kevin Sorbo
It recently came out that these guys attended a McCain fundraiser. Time to put your money where your mouth is. Obama vs Cain & Sorbo. Only rule is, they must wear their Hercules and Superman costumes.
Ted Nugent
Should Ted wind up being the only Republican with any guts, invite him. We can have a spirited debate about guns. Close the show with a retooled Cat Scratch Fever (Fat Cat Fever?) and everyone goes home happy.
These are just a few of the many fine people out there who might be able to debate Barack Obama if John McCain just doesn't have the time. Let me know who you think I've forgotten!