Our daughter: "A Black Man Can't be President"

That's what my 5-year-old daughter, an African-American, said to me this weekend.

It hurt the the core of my heart. I, as the "whitest-man-in-America," and my partner work hard to raise our daughter with a sense of pride in her heritage, a love for herself and understanding of what it means to be "black" in this country and still remain hopeful.

We thought we were succeeding.

(quick caveat: I am a mild supporter of Obama.. given a bit of money, have his magnet on our refrigerator, but this diary is more about race than it is another candidate diary)

I was perusing DK on Saturday and she walked in to ask me something and saw a picture of Bush. A conversation ensued.

"That's the president?"

"Yes sweetie"

"You don't like him do you?"

"No"

"Why not?"

I then spend a short amount of time trying hard to explain to her why not without sounding too disrespectful of the presidency and with things she would understand.

"Is he still president?"

"Yes, but remember the pictures we saw, we are choosing a new president"

She remembers and says she wants the lady to be president. She wants her because she says she likes the way she dresses (sadly, I have a fear that a lot of people vote like this 5-year-old would... someone 'looks nice' or 'you could have a beer with).

"Yes, she'd be a good president"

"You want that man on our refrigerator to be president?" (that'd be Obama)

"Yes, but I like the woman, her name is Hilary Clinton, too"

"He can't be president"

"Why not?"

"Because people like me can't be president"

Here my heart sank and my smile disappeared. I was afraid to ask the the next question: "What do you mean?"

"People with skin like me can't be president"

I wanted to throw up. Where did she get this?  I asked her why she thought this and how she came to that conclusion, but like any 5-year-old, she lost interest in the conversation. SHe'll bring it up again at another time, she always does.

But where in the ^%$ did she get this idea?

Definitely not in our house, where anything is possible.

Not from her kindergarden teachers. They haven't discussed presidents. I don't think our daughter has ever seen a list of presidents, much less a list with pictures.

It's not that she's not seen men (and women) who are black as leaders. The new head of her school is African American, the former mayor here was African American (and she's met him)...

Someone, somewhere in our community of multiple races and very liberal San Francisco, said something to the effect that a black man can not become president.

Is that still the thinking in this nation? Are we stuck in the pre-60's forever believing that a person of color can not and will not, perhaps should not, rise to the top of our nation? Are we going to create a self-fulfilling prophecy by our lack of belief?

Perhaps I am overanalyzing this. I am. It's our daughter, of course I'm overanalyzing this. But when you can live in a very liberal community of a racial makeup with no majority race or ethnicity and have men and women of color in leadership roles.

And still your daughter can pick up somehow that there is a ceiling that black people can not rise above,

Then this virus of racism is pernicious and much stronger than this optimistic and hopeful father had ever believed.

I don't want Obama to win because he's black any more than I want him to lose because of it. But if he doesn't, I hope another man or woman of color does become president sometime in my daughter's lifetime because as trivial as this would seem in the bigger picture of things, I hope to be able point out to my daughter that yes, someone with skin like hers can be president.

And the hopeful aspect of this election season, at least when it comes to our daughter, is that come just about this time next year I truly believe that either a woman or a black man will likely be president of the United States of America. Someone like my daughter might just be president one way or the other.

And that alone is one of the most amazing things I've been every able to say about a presidential campaign in the 4 decades of my life.

(and a Democrat too! :)

•  and about the other candidates...

  this is not to say I wouldn't LOVE an Edwards presidency or a Richardson presidency.

  I would. I am SOOO proud of our Democratic field this year. It's amazing.

  This diary is just about race and gender and my daughter more than it is about who should be president :D

  by wclathe on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 09:47:12 AM PDT

  •  heartbreaking

    you've obviously tried hard to let your daughter know that she can be anything she wants to be.  i am so sorry that somehow she's picked up this message.

    thanks for sharing. i know that wasn't easy.

    by anna on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 09:51:15 AM PDT

  •  Out of the mouths of babes

    comes the impact of our culture.

    Don't feel badly. She is merely reflecting messages that come from our culture. They are subtle but can have a deep impact.

    Our daughter at even a few years older proclaimed "Women don't drive. Men drive cars." That was after multiple years of me as an at-home mom, and later as almost the sole parent while my husband attended graduate school (5 years) while he was working full time. And she tells me, the taxi mom, that women don't drive! Seems minor but is reflective of stereotyped gender roles, which she sure didn't pick up at home.

    Take heart. She's only 5. She's clearly very bright. You're an attentive parent. It will all work out. And tell her that we need good people just like her to run for and become president.

    BTW, if you want a very positive story about just how important parental input can be and what a deep impact it can have, e-mail me (in my profile).

    Keep on with that good parenting, wclathe.

    by bleeding heart on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 10:30:28 AM PDT

  •  Maybe she was reading DKos over your shoulder

    Kids these days.

    by young montana voter on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 10:50:49 AM PDT

•  Thanks for sharing your story

  It is heartbreaking; it drives home the point that racism is systemic in America. Nevertheless, Senator Barack Obama inspires me. I believe he can be president. And the latest polls in Iowa and New Hampshire show that he's the first black candidate to be taken seriously as a presidential contender.

  by jhutson on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 09:48:23 AM PDT

•  She must have been reading MyDD

  by sunbode2000 on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 09:49:44 AM PDT

  •  how snide

    by swissffun on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 11:16:37 AM PDT

•  This Is One Of the Saddest Things I've Heard

  in a long, long time.

  BTW: I am as white as is legally allowed.

  by webranding on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 09:49:59 AM PDT

  •  I'm whiter

    My father was a polar bear. (h/t Jim Gaffigan)

    by droogie6655321 on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 09:54:16 AM PDT

    •  I'm so white

      I'm translucent! (h/t Will Durst)

      Wclathe -- give your daughter an extra hug from her friend down the Peninsula. :)

      by Cali Scribe on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 10:42:43 AM PDT

      •  I'm so white...

        When I lay on the beach, it's like leaving a fork in the microwave.

        by droogie6655321 on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 10:48:16 AM PDT

•  Unfortunately, the sentiment expressed by your

  daughter is widely held, even though explicitly stated.  That's the driver behind attacks from the Clinton campaign, and claims by Edwards that he is most electable.  That's also the reason we've had this long conversation about Obama's "experience", without having similar debates about Clinton and Edwards (as well as the GOP candidates).  It's the pink elephant in the room, not for everyone, but for a signifcant portion of the electorate.

  by lordcopper on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 09:52:22 AM PDT

•  That is very sad. I can't imagine how a 5 year

  old could even formulate the rationale for such a statement.  Where does she hear such things?  In your household, perhaps, or, if not, whose?  I really don't know any adult, no less a child, thinking this kind of thing.  The people I know think (and hope) we have finally crossed the threshold where "race matters" as to how someone votes.  

  by hcc in VA on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 09:52:28 AM PDT

  •  I Have Heard This Question Asked Openly

    On CNN, MSNBC, and of course FOX. Everybody on always rushes to say "of course they can." But IMHO that the question is even being asked means that might not be the case.

    by webranding on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 09:55:14 AM PDT

  •  this is what surprised me most...

    She definitely did not get it in our household. We dont' think it much less say it.

    She is around other adults, parents of friends, grandparents etc.

    And what she said and how she said it is what bothers us most. It shocked us and told us she heard it from an adult (either in person or on TV.. though we dont' watch TV news).

    So someone said it and she's repeating it. That's what bothers us.

    by wclathe on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 09:55:40 AM PDT

    •  It could have been a totally innocent remark.

      Maybe she heard a stump speech, maybe she heard it in a children's book ("there has never been a black president, but Martin Luther King Jr. was a great leader ...").  Sometimes kids pick up on something that is very much not the main point and run with it.  

      by msanthrope on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 10:04:43 AM PDT

    •  Could she be a Hillary plant? :) n/t

      by hcc in VA on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 10:06:07 AM PDT

    •  Could have been sarcasm...

      ...or hyperbole when no one knew a child was around.

      I'm reminded of a dinner party where the kids were all playing downstairs. We parents were having a heated discussion about education, property taxes, school vouchers, etc. Don't remember what elicited the comment, but my wife made a statement, something to the effect of, "But the kid who we let fall through the cracks will be the person who puts a cap in your ass."

      And of course one of the 7 year-olds walked up at that moment to hear the exagerated, out of context, not-age-appropriate comment.

      Unfortunately, we adults say many stupid things. We then have to use those mistakes as moments of teaching. I get that opportunity more than I care to say with my 10 and 3 year old. I wish you luck as you keep up the tough work of parenting in a weary world.

      by MalachiConstant on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 10:44:31 AM PDT

    •  Maybe she's seen pictures of past presidents

      and since they were all white males, simply came to that conclusion on her own. A possibility at least.

      by zerelda on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 10:59:58 AM PDT

      •  it is a possibility, but I'm not sure where...

        and she thinks a woman can be president :/

        no understanding the mind of a child :)

        by wclathe on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 11:02:07 AM PDT

•  how sad....

  maybe we can change that perception
  and as she grows up, the landscape
  will change and color won't be an
  issue anymore.

  I can dream... sigh...

  by Statusquomustgo on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 09:52:59 AM PDT

•  Where did she get it?

  The person who told her this (if indeed she did hear it from a person) might not be white.

  I've heard quite a few black men and women say that no black person can be president.

  by droogie6655321 on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 09:53:44 AM PDT

  •  Me too.

    I've heard it most often from people who grew up in the South.  

    by smellybeast on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 09:56:49 AM PDT

    •  Yeah

      And besides that, white people in this country are much more likely to say that racism isn't that big of an issue in our society.

      Just examine any poll on race that provides an analysis of the responders' skin color.

      by droogie6655321 on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 09:59:44 AM PDT

•  Total speculation: a relative, maybe?

  I have very clear memories of being a little older than your daughter and being told by my uncle that he would never come to visit me because we lived in Chicago "with all those n_____s." I asked my mother what the word meant, and she explained it, and she also never spoke to the jackass again.

  by iconoclastic cat on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 09:55:13 AM PDT

  •  yeah, perhaps grandparents I've thought. /nt

    by wclathe on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 09:56:32 AM PDT

    •  I wouldn't go asking around, though.

      I have a feeling it wouldn't end well.

      by iconoclastic cat on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 09:59:29 AM PDT

      •  yeah, we won't, don't think it would..

        we're listening closer thought :D

        by wclathe on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 10:01:05 AM PDT

      •  Yeah, I'm with that.

        But keep the ears open. That would be my other piece of advice. Somebody's feeding her this shit. They may not even be doing it as a conscious form of racism--they may truly believe that larger forces in a racist world will never allow a black man to be president.

        Me? I'm an optimist. For my own sanity, I have to believe we can send a woman or a black man to the White House. God knows, we are overdue and far behind the rest of the world--2008 is the time to catch up.

        by Pager on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 10:04:38 AM PDT

        •  Definitely! Don't go quietly into RW memes! nt

          by iconoclastic cat on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 10:10:08 AM PDT

•  Perhaps she did not hear this but

  deduced it from the general culture, teevee, etc. It is everywhere, as you said:

  
  Then this virus of racism is pernicious and much stronger than this optimistic and hopeful father had ever believed.

  It would be wonderful to have Obama as president and it would give a real boost to African-Americans who have lost hope.

  Thanks for writing this. It's makes me sad but it's interesting to know that despite what good enlightened people do to counteract racism it is still quite a battle given how entrenched it is.

  by Gorette on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 09:55:18 AM PDT

  •  The kid is five - probably a very avanced 5,

    but I am highly suspect that she is able to deduce anything as complex as that from TV.  I would bet a lot of money she heard it from somewhere.  Maybe it was an innocent statement, but she heard someone say that and it was picked up on.

    by msanthrope on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 10:00:20 AM PDT

    •  yeah, I don't think she got this from TV

      it's a bit too complicated a thought (and we don't watch TV).

      She is an advanced child (she's fascinated by evolution !), but I think she heard this from an adult.

      by wclathe on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 10:02:18 AM PDT

      •  She could have just as easily heard a child

        repeat something they heard when they were visiting their grandmother who lives three states away.  I guess what I am saying is, without further evidence, I would be really careful about assuming she heard it from the obvious suspects (teachers, relatives, etc.).

        by msanthrope on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 10:12:03 AM PDT

•  Maybe your daughter can run for president

  And with any luck, she won't be the first woman or black person to hold the office.

  by nightsweat on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 09:55:28 AM PDT

•  I would like someone other than a white man

  as U.S. president.  However, I would have a great fear that the regressive elements of our country would not tolerate such a thing.  It only takes one well-placed bullet to kill a human being.

  Sadly, there is always some nutcase out there with a rifle and scope.  Look at what just happened in predominantly Islamic Pakistan when an uppity woman tried to run for top job again.  Look at our own history of presidential assassinations. (And attempts, such as Reagan.)

  I certainly wish America would grow up and choose leaders for important and logical reasons, and not based on wardrobe, skin color, gender, and similar ridiculous attributes.  Nothing would please me more than a progressive president, of whatever physical body, would get in and fix the country, to the rousing cheers of the common people.

  In the meantime, my pessimism is in full force, and I hope for an excellent vice president if Obama or Clinton is elected.

  by Dar Nirron on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 09:55:39 AM PDT

  •  On the other hand...

    Chris Rock will tell you that there will never be a white president who will agree to have a black VP because they know someone will just kill the white president. Then what are they going to do? Send him to prison, where he'll be a hero?

    by droogie6655321 on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 10:03:05 AM PDT

•  I'm sure her view. . .

  is that of a lot of black Obama supporters as well.  It's a widely held view within the black community that a black man will simply not be allowed to ascend to the Presidency.

  To be honest, I share some of their skepticism.  That's not to say it should be that way, or that I want it to be that way.  But I fear it might be that way.  I'm sure that Obama is well aware of this factor and has plans to deal with it head on -- certainly his political persona is constructed in such a way as to make him an attractive candidate across the board (much to the disdain, apparently of the left-blogosphere).

  None of this is going to stop black people from coming out for Obama in the primary or general.  But is is a widely held belief.  I'm not surprised that your daughter has heard it and it doesn't necessarily come from the right.

  A positive aspect of either an Obama or Clinton Presidency (or even candidacy) is the empowering effect either will have on the daily lives of tens of millions of Americans.  I know its not fashionable around here to support candidates in any part for their race or gender but I'm sorry -- I feel (as long as the candidate is otherwise qualified) that diversity is, in fact, a virtue.

  by LarryInNYC on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 09:55:55 AM PDT

  •  Obama can take and hold the office

    if we give him the votes. I'd prefer Edwards, but only by a hair, but if Obama gets the votes I believe the time has come and that Obama has the force of personality and charisma to make it happen. He's presidential timber.

    by World Patriot on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 10:01:09 AM PDT

  •  I must be very naive, but I feel we have passed

    that threshold, and Obama has helped us cross it.  I would think the bigoted based community would be at least as concerned at the thought of a woman being President.  

    by hcc in VA on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 10:07:57 AM PDT

    •  We haven't crossed it...

      ...until a black person takes the Oath of Office.

      I have my fingers crossed here but I will believe it when I see it.

      I think that sometimes the realism/pragmatism shown by lots of us black folk over 30 is interpreted as cynicism (e.g., a black "can't" win).

      I wouldn't say "can't", but I certainly have no evidence that rules out "can't".

      So, I wait and see.

      by malharden on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 10:30:59 AM PDT

•  Sad; very sad

  "Because people like me can't be president"

  Here my heart sank and my smile disappeared. I was afraid to ask the the next question: "What do you mean?"

  "People with skin like me can't be president"

  I wanted to throw up. Where did she get this?  I asked her why she thought this and how she came to that conclusion, but like any 5-year-old, she lost interest in the conversation. She'll bring it up again at another time, she always does.

  But where in the ^%$ did she get this idea?

  Check with FoxSpews.  Then the southern evangelists.

  That's a very sad story.

  by MikeTheLiberal on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 10:02:25 AM PDT

•  Well I Do Have Some Hope

  I live in Illinois. In the south part in a pretty rural area. Lets just say for any folks that don't think racism is alive and well come visit me.

  But when Obama was campaigning for the Senate he came here to a packed house. And when I looked at the voting results my pretty red district voted for him in large numbers.

  The racism I see here is very different then what I saw when I lived in the deep south (Louisiana). Here there are "good" African Americans and then there are "blacks," "negros," and yes that other word that starts with a N.

  Both are terrible, but I tended to prefer the more in-you-face racism of the south cause you pretty much knew where people stood on the topic from the get-go. Here I have met new people, become friends, then they let down their guard and stuff can come out of their mouths that is stunning to say the least.

  This was one of the reason I felt Biden's comments were do damming when he called Obama "clean" and "articulate." To me this was showing he falls into the first group I mentioned above.

  by webranding on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 10:05:14 AM PDT

  •  I grew up in rural Northern Illinois

    and then lived in Carbondale for a few years. I couldn't believe the "Land of Lincoln" could harbor such deep seated racism. I no longer live under the delusion that racism is confined to a particular state or region in this country, not when I saw it at backyard BBQs at my aunt's house.

    by Pager on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 10:08:31 AM PDT

    •  Try the south side of Chicago

      I had a couple of good friends from my undergrad years who both grew up on the south side (they're both southside Irish to be exact).  As a naive guy who grew up in the far-western suburbs of IL, I was surprised at the intense racism expressed by them and their friends that I met through them.  Lots and lots of the N-word casually thrown about in everyday conversation.

      by madmsf on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 10:56:12 AM PDT

      •  Yeah, this myth that it only exists in the South

        is truly just that--a myth. Like webbranding said, it's often just more overt there. I haven't lived anywhere yet that I haven't seen it. I haven't traveled anywhere in the world yet where I haven't run into it. If there is such a place, a place where racism does not exist, I implore somebody to post the address to this utopia because I am packing my bags and will meet you there...

        by Pager on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 11:14:41 AM PDT

•  Children hear

  everything, and a thing like that would stick in her mind. She could have heard it anywhere.

  Don't tense up about it.  Keep doing what you are doing.

  Let's do our part to see that she gets her very own prez in '08!

  by kpardue on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 10:11:06 AM PDT

•  a hopeful anecdote

  Your story is very sad, and we should all be working to make sure that kids don't ever get the idea that people who look like them - whatever they look like - can't be president.

  But, here's something that may make you feel better. I used to teach 2 & 3 year olds in Sunday School. My church makes a big deal out of Martin Luther King Day every year, so I always tried to explain what the day is, and why Dr. King is special. I'd tell them that there used to be different laws for people depending on the color of their skin. They didn't believe me. Ever. Every year, I'd look at their eyes while I was explaining this to them, and they had that look kids get when they know you're telling them a story. That always made me very happy. I could live with the kids not believing me, since it was because they couldn't fathom discrimination based on skin color.

  by anotherdemocrat on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 10:11:31 AM PDT

•  It can get worse

  I once had an African-American co-worker tell me about the time she changed high schools, from a predominantly African-American urban high school to a predominantly white suburban high school. She was nervous at the time not because of social issues or a fear that she'd encounter racism. She was nervous that she'd have trouble academically because at the time she thought white people were inherently smarter than black people. This co-worker was only about 25 at the time, so she wasn't reflecting a point of view from the distant past. I just hope your daughter doesn't carry a burden like that much past the age she'll be next week, let alone into near-adulthood.

  by Korkenzieher on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 10:11:42 AM PDT

•  My dad is very reluctant to vote for Obama

  in the upcoming Illinois primary.  It's not that he doesn't think Obama could do the job.  It's not because he doesn't like his positions on the issues.  My dad is fairly certain that if Obama gets the nomination he will be assassinated. My dad feels that if he supports Obama and he is subsequently assassinated, he will, in some way, be partly responsible for his death.  

  I don't think this reflects poorly on my dad.  I do, however, think it reflects poorly on our society.

  by madmsf on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 10:14:17 AM PDT

  •  OT but what's the rule if a cand is killed

    or dies prior to the election? has the party agreed to just raise the VP candidate? or revote the nomination?

    by swissffun on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 11:20:32 AM PDT

    •  I don't know

      n/t

      by madmsf on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 11:55:01 AM PDT

•  So sad

  to think that we haven't come very far from the days of the doll test.

  If there's any good news, it's that I know plenty of white kids who don't seem to express that thought.  Cold comfort, I know.  

  by marykk on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 10:14:28 AM PDT

•  i'm not surprised

  Major parts of the Republican party thinks you need white skin, a penis, and must belong to an approved protestant denomination.

  by mollyd on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 10:27:39 AM PDT

•  Bitter memories here...

  My mixed race daughter, who is now 40, made a simular observation when she was 5.

  She actually turned 5 while we were in Mississippi to attend my maternal granfathers funeral, so the day prior to the services I took her and a bunch of the cousins to a recently intergrated Howard Johnsons for ice cream. Everyone was having a fun time when I noticed my daughter had a rather distant look on her face.

  I asked what was wrong and she burst into tears, saying through her sobs, how much she wished her Mom were there. (we were recently divorced so that was probably the main reason for the waterworks)
  But, as I tried to console her and assure her there would be another party when she got home, like all children, she created her own rationale and reality by saying she understood that the people in Mississippi might try to kill me/us if her white mother were to show up.

  I was shocked--not with the concept,since it had plenty merit in 1972--but that she was even aware of how things like that were.  It was the beginning of a long string of racial awakenings for she and I, especially after she started school that fall. <sigh> but that's a very long story....

  Your little girl will be just fine. Just make sure she understands that in order to win, you have to be in the game.

  by jaysunb on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 10:28:23 AM PDT

•  As a young girl

  going to Mass on Sundays in the Catholic Church, it was completely clear to me--without ever hearing it out loud--that women were not in leadership roles in this organization.

  You don't have to be told things sometimes.  Little girls absorb things.

  We also get over them when new information comes along, conveniently enough :)

  by mem from somerville on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 10:35:30 AM PDT

•  But where in the ^%$ did she get this idea?

  From the observation that all 40-plus presidents are white.  I'm just surprised she thinks the lady can be president.  

  You're doing a great job with your daughter.  She will learn.  Here's the good part: When I was her age, no black man and no woman could have ever won the presidency, and yet today I think we are getting close to the time when such people CAN win.  By the time your daughter is voting age, I believe the dream will be real.

  by Montague on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 10:45:22 AM PDT

•  Your daughter is very lucky to have you!

  She may think that about an African American President now, but i'm sure she will realize that everything is possible in the environment you are attempting to create and raise your daughter in.  

  In addition, there are more and more African Americans who have the talent and experience to become President before your daughter goes to College.  Jesse Jackson Jr., the current governor of Mass, Obama and others.   Each of them will have the years of experience, the background and connections necessary for a successful campaign.  

  Whether Obama wins or loses, he has shown that a skin color is not a barrier and can be an asset.  I think his campaign has made some strategic mistakes which would be the cause if he does not get the nomination.  And frankly, I can't think of any other senator with his level of senority who would have gotten this far.  Obama is an amazing and talented politican whose best days are ahead of him what ever happens the next 3 weeks.      

  by arogue7 on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 10:56:42 AM PDT

•  Hang in there...

  You'd be surprised how deeply your voice, as an involved and loving parent, can go to counter what your daughter has picked up from other sources.

  For me, when I was a little girl, when my mom told me in no uncertain terms that I could be whatever I wanted to be, I believed her.  I believed her 100%.  Our very brief discussion was about becoming an astronaut, not becoming President.  But I had absolutely no uncertainty in my mind that I could become an astronaut.  This was right after my mom told me that of course I could become an astronaut, if I really wanted to.

  Of course, later I learned how much more math I'd have to do.  And then I actually ate astronaut food, which was gross beyond icky (except for dehydrated ice cream, which was like sweet, crunchy styrofoam).  But up until the more-math part, I was all kinds of serious, in thinking about becoming an astronaut.

  You can help counter the nonsense that she's picked up.

  (Not that it's 100% nonsense; racism is disturbingly alive and well in the US, if more subtle and pervasive than it used to be, in most places.  After all, becoming an astronaut doesn't require more-or-less winning a nationwide popular vote.)

  by AnnCetera on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 10:57:23 AM PDT

•  Man - I feel with you

  Nobody knows where she got it from. She expressed it.
  Isn't it the meaning of the average American? - be honest.
  That is my opinion. Obama is a risk to me - because of this deeply rooted meaning.
  I'm a foreigner. I can't vote. My wish is Obama or Edwards. Obama is my first choice. I don't know who is winning.
  Good luck to you.
  May be your daughter is wrong?!?

  by stoneage on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 10:58:19 AM PDT

•  Why isn't this on the rec list yet?

  I don't understand.  There are diaries up there that have less comments and less recs than this one.

  by smellybeast on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 11:11:22 AM PDT

  •  I have no idea about the workings of recommends

    I assume it has something to do with not only how many recommendations it has, but also how fast they come, how many TU's gave them, what the diaries already up are, etc. I've had recommended diaries with only 30 recommends and those that didn't make it that had 60.

    by wclathe on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 11:22:14 AM PDT

•  She's five years old

  Small children are very very fast learners. She picked up this information the same way she picked up her information that a Chinaman cannot be president either. It doesn't mean anything so don't worry about it.

  Besides, for her, it is more meaningful right now that a women becomes president than just another man, no matter his color. Gender is more important than race in defining who we are.

  by Civil Defense on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 11:35:40 AM PDT