Advance Text of SOTU

Mah fillow Amurkins,

For seven years, Ah have boldly led you where no one has gone before.  From this universe to the Bizarro universe. From surpluses to deficits. From universal international respect and sympathy to worldwide scorn and fear. From respect fer the role of gobmint to help the least forchoonit amung us to the enthronmint of greeed.

Ah regret that you have not followed mah leed. You have not accepted mah vision of compashonit Christian conservatism. You have aided the terraists bah critizing me.

Forty years ago LBJ announced that it was with a heavy heart that he would not run for re-election.  So Ah say to you today, it is with a heavy heart that Ah announce to you today that Ah am declaring the 22d Amendment as being contrary to the original intent of the Founders, and infringing mah right to continue leading this great country until mah vision has been achieved, and infringing on yer right to get a second chance at accepting mah rule leadership.

Also, the 22d Amendment doesn't really apply to  me anyway because as all you libruls have pointed out, Ah was selected not elected in 2000.

God bless you and Gold bless the Yewnited States of Gilead, ah, um, Ah mean Amurika.

•  Demerits for failing to follow Bush's

  leadership.

  --Ofgeorge

  by litigatormom on Mon Jan 28, 2008 at 09:17:22 AM PDT

  •  LOL!!! n/t

    by Faheyman on Mon Jan 28, 2008 at 09:34:09 AM PDT

•  Worst

  nightmare ever

  by mpc 12 on Mon Jan 28, 2008 at 09:17:57 AM PDT

•  Don't give him any ideas!!! n/t

  by MaskedKat on Mon Jan 28, 2008 at 09:20:23 AM PDT

  •  Give him ideas? Impossible. What few he has

    were set in stone a long time ago...on a teeny tiny garden paver with no room for any more.  After he reads out the speeches written for him by his speech writers, he doesn't actually remember any of it.

    by 417els on Mon Jan 28, 2008 at 09:32:08 AM PDT

•  Yup. Frum now on, you will always refer to me as

  yer Dear Leader and you will waive and shout that yer prayin' fer me whenever mah ahmed gahds escort me anywhere near you or your family.  If anyone refuses to do exactly as ah say, it will be obvious to all that you and yours are under-cover agents of terrah who are dangerous to mah world.  You will be taken intah custudy and rigorously interrogated and held in an off-shore dungeon - ah mean prison - fer the rest of yer life.

  So, bow down to me and ah will protect you!!!

  by Little Lulu on Mon Jan 28, 2008 at 09:24:52 AM PDT

•  Excellent dialect. n/t

  by jnhobbs on Mon Jan 28, 2008 at 09:25:09 AM PDT

•  I'm looking forward...

  to those "secret code" lines aimed at fundies that make most people scratch their heads go "WTF was that?" You know, the "human animal hybrid" type lines.

  by blueyedace2 on Mon Jan 28, 2008 at 09:28:02 AM PDT

  •  Manimal!!!! eom

    by litigatormom on Mon Jan 28, 2008 at 09:37:02 AM PDT

•  What I love about this text

  is that you can really tell George wrote it all bah hisself.

  No certifimakit of authenticity necessary.

  by J R Hand on Mon Jan 28, 2008 at 09:43:51 AM PDT

  •  can tell he is "hooked

    on fonics" too.

    by birdbrain64 on Mon Jan 28, 2008 at 10:30:43 AM PDT