Less than five hours to go. Everyone giddy ready for round two?
The rules are easy, and unlike debate drinking games, this game will not give you a hangover. (Although listening to Palin’s monologues of screeching stupidity and narcissism may make your head hurt. A lot.)
- Write a list of all the offenses you expect from Sarah Palin. Or feel free to borrow mine.
- Keep a tally for every offense during the debate.
- At the end of the night, make a donation for each offense. Whether it’s a nickel for every offense, or $100, it all helps. And if you’re really strapped for cash, make phone calls and knock on doors instead. For every offense, register a voter. Get out the vote. Do something.
- Report back with your total at the end of the debate. (Optional, although I'm curious to see just how much money Palin raises for Obama tonight, aren't you?)
My list of donations for the vice presidential debate:
Every time Palin says "Maverick!" make a donation.
Every time she begins a sentence but fails to complete it, make a donation.
Every time Palin says "bridge to nowhere," make a donation. If she uses it in a sentence with "thanks, but no thanks," triple the donation.
Every time you turn to your spouse or partner or friend watching the debate with you, and you both simultaneously say "WTF?", make a donation. Or if you’re watching alone, and your cat gives you a strange look, make a donation.
Every time you talk back to the TV, radio, or computer screen, make a donation.
Every time she says "Alaska," make a donation. If she says "up there in Alaska," triple the donation.
Every time you cringe, gasp, choke, or groan, make a donation.
Every time she says "reform" or "reformer," make a donation.
Every time she says "Russia," make a donation. And then -- what the hell? -- have a shot of Vodka.
You’ll probably need it.
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This is my list from the first debate between Obama and McCain. I tallied 49 offenses (including a strange look from my friend’s dog), and donated $2 for each and every one of them.
I'm a little scared that Palin may force me to max out tonight.
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Post-debate Update: I counted 78 offenses, including two mentions of "up there in Alaska," which means tripling the donation for each.
In light of the sheer number of offenses, I think I'll be donating a $1 for each, for a total of $82.
Suck it, Sarah.