Yesterday I made a promise to rserven that I would be one of 100 diaries speaking out for equality on National Coming Out Day. So here I am. I am a straight person who has believed in equal rights for GLBT folks my entire adult life. I've come out and stepped up a few times to support those equal rights, and I hope in some small way this diary will show I do mean it.
I'd like to do it with a story about two of my best friends, who have been married at least three times. The first time was in March of 2004 in Portland, Oregon. They even made the CNN website.
Then that got taken away.
So that summer Sam and Rey went to Vegas and had a wedding. But still not really a legal one. Finally in July of 2007, they arranged to have a legal marriage ceremony performed in Canada. They invited my husband and I to come and be the witnesses. We were glad to do it -- we'd supported them since they'd come out to us, somewhere around 2000.
But the sad thing about all this is that they had to get married three times. And even then, there's no guarantees that they can be considered legally married. They could still get thrown out of their apartment. Rey could get barred from visiting Sam in the hospital, or lose her job for taking time off to care for Sam when she gets sick (which happens not infrequently as Sam has a chronic medical condition).
They have been talking about moving to California for Sam to go to grad school. Today, if they wanted to, they could get married again there. But maybe not in November. To use a phrase I've heard Sam say so many times, "That's just so wrong."
If two people care about each other enough to spend their lives together, they should have the right to get married and enjoy all the benefits that come with marriage. No matter who they are.