From now until Nov 4th, I will be forcing myself to watch Fox News to see just how unhinged they become as they become more and more scared that they're going to lose. Don't get me wrong. I'm not being complacent. I'm not saying that Republicans are going to lose, only that it's fun to watch them shriek like banshees because they feel they're going to lose.
In addition, let's realize something else right off the bat: as much as they may freak onscreen, they're also in something of a celebratory mood too: 1) They don't really give that much of a shit about McCain. He's probably the last person the Fox Cabal wanted as the nominee. 2): A Democratic President and Congress? Shit, that'll be GOLD to them. Finally Rush, Hannity and Billo will have something to actually complain about.
My Friends, (and I say that unironically) if you get nothing else from this series, please get this: The Republicans see the next four years as another "Jimmy Carter" opportunity. They're praying that things get so bad by 2010 and/or 2012 that the electorate will be begging the Republicans to return to power. Begging. At which point, they've got Good Ol' Sarah Tanned, Rested, and Ready. They'll spend the next four years coaching her, fine tuning, smoothing away some of the rough edges and - voila! - She'll be back on the scene in 2012 "an older and wiser woman" ready to take the reins back from the "disaster" that is the Barack Obama Administration. I guarantee it kids. I don't even have to wonder about this scenario.
So believe me when I say I'm not being complacent. Because, in fact, we can't even be complacent if he wins by 350 Electoral Votes. It will not be an option.
So this is just a fun exercise for me, and I hope it is for you too.
I thought I would watch Fox&Friends, Neil Cavuto, Billo, Hannity and Greta, but, amazingly, Billo and Greta are just fucking boring. I got an emergency phone call and had to miss Hannity. Poor me.
But Fox & Friends - Steve Doocy, Brian Kilmeade, and Generic Fox Blond Chick - are pure gold. This have the idiot/wingnut level turned up to 11 every day without fail.
On Monday, they start with Palin’s appearance on SNL. They immediately lash out at the show complaining that they made her look stupid, had Alec Baldwin insult her to her face, didn’t let her talk, and other candidates have looked much better going on the show.
Direct quote:" Tina Fey’s evisceration of her has been substantial"
Question of the day: "Do you feel Palinwas sandbagged by SNL or was it a good performance?"
Saturday Night Live, welcome to the ranks of The Liberal Media, Hollywood, The NYT, Unions, colleges and, of course, The Dixie Chicks.
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The Colin Powell thing. Georgette Mosbacher, the Morticia Adams of the GOP:" The endorsement of Joe the Plumber is going to be more important than that of Colin Powell. " Ooookay then.
Later, it’s remarked that Powell said that Obama represents a chance for the US to regain it’s standing in the world. Brian Kilmeade brings up that hey, Berlusconi loves Dubya, as does Sarkozy (possibly the first time a French president has been praised on Fox) and so do past/present English Prime Ministers. Yes! We at Fox do care what other countries think of us! And they think we’re swell!! Take THAT Colin!!
A guy from "The Center for Media & Public Research" and and he says that – hang on to your hats boysand girls – THE MEDIA IS BIASED IN FAVOR OF OBAMA!!!
James T Harris, a BLACK CONSERVATIVE radio host who’s on Fox basically every time you turn it these days for some reason. He says Powell’s endorsement didn’t "seal the deal" . After all you have to read between and look at what Powell DIDN’T say about Obama. Well, glad that’s settled.
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OK, it’s WILLIAM AYERS TIME!!
Generic Fox Blond: "Ok, we’ve talked about him from time to time..." I wonder if she realizes how hilarious that comment is.
They have a professor from good old Hofstra University (I almost went there) who knows Ayers. The headline "Professors Know Ayers and Like Him". Kilmeade shrieks: "How does a guy that forms a group like the Weather Underground get anywhere in this education department? Where does that appear on the resume?"
Professor Singer says: "I don’t understand why this is being raised in the election right now. You can’t catch ideas like a virus. Being in the same room with somebody you don’t catch what they think."
The conversation goes back and forth with F&F spouting the usual talking points. They repeatedly show this picture of him standing on the American flag. Singer says the Republicans keep bringing up Ayers because they can’t compete on issues. Kilmeade and GFBC repeatedly interrupt: HE’S A TERROWRIST!! WAAAAH!!
Footage of McCain on Fox Sunday discussing Obama’s $150M in September (which came delivered gift wrapped with a big red ribbon and a card from Sarah Palin.) He’s whining about Obama betrayed him (he didn’t) and now this much money is inevitably going to lead to the same kinds of abuses that happened during Watergate. Plus he’s making more of those weird facial expressions) The problem (of course) is that so many of these donations are under the $200 limit. Who ARE the people making these donations? There’s no paper trail! WAAAH!!
Enter:The Luntz-O-Meter. Frank Luntz shows clips of a Citizens United website documentary called "Hype" (whatever) and they have all these squiggly lines that rate favorability to the comments of whatever the person onscreen is saying. Of course, all the lines are trending down whenever the names Jeremiah Wright and William Ayers are mentioned, blah blah blah.
Hey Bill Hemmer is in Iraq. "Baghdad is a functioning city again" YAY!
Apparently, it just so happens that there's a series running where they talk about all the things that are going right in Iraq. Guess what, guys? THEY'RE BUILDING SCHOOLS!! Yes, they were building schools 3 years ago, but now production has been ramped up. Amazing.
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I may need to see a psychotherapist by the time Nov 4th rolls around, (it is scary knowing I live in a nation where people actually think this stuff is true) but damn, I'll be laughing the whole time