This solution was presented by a somewhat unlikely duo - actresses Natalie Portman and Rashida Jones. Before you dismiss it out of hand, consider that, despite their youthful looks, Ms. Portman and Ms. Jones are no intellectual lightweights. Ms. Portman is working on a graduate degree in psychology at Harvard University and has authored several peer-reviewed papers. Her advisor was Alan Dershovitz. Ms. Jones is a fellow Harvard graduate and won renown both as an actress and as a composer. The details of the Portman-Jones plan follow.
(see more Natalie Portman videos at Funny or Die)
For the streaming-video impaired, here are some of the highlights of the video.
The panic on Wall Street has now reached Main Street.
After careful consideration, Rashida and I have determined the best course of action.