This will be short as I've never been a great writer. I wish I knew how to better express all that I feel with written words. However, that is not my talent and I am left to do the best I can with the skills I have. I hope you are able to read between the lines.
I'm not leaving as a result of being offended. I'm not leaving for the many reasons I've seen others leave over the months I've been here.
If you take anything away from this diary, please let it be that I like you. I really, really like you guys and gals. You have shared so much and have been a wonderful source of information for this first time Florida voter.
I'm leaving because I no longer have the ability to keep my internet account up and running. When Barack stands in front of a crowd and states that it isn't enough to ask if you are better off than you were four years ago he knows what he is taking about. In today's climate it is indeed often necessary to ask yourself if you are better off than you were four weeks ago.
In my case, the answer is no.
I lost my phone service today. I expect to lose my internet service tomorrow or over the next few days.
The electric and the house will soon follow. I guess I've got about four more weeks left before I'm completely out of answers.
The Bush administration policies haven't worked for me and my situation. I now know that I'm not alone. As a matter of fact, in a strange way D-Kos has made facing this a bit easier for me. I now realize just how much I am part of a larger problem.
Before D-Kos I would have spent more time blaming myself for the situation I face. While I accept that I haven't always made every wise choice, I also see that we have set up our society in such a way that it is too easy for someone to fall through the very large cracks created by years of belief in a trickle down economy.
I became sick a while back and as a result have been unable to work. Being employeed as a contractor for a large insurance company left me without medical benefits. It saved money for the insurance company but did little for those who might become ill. I took the job because the pay allowed me to provide for my family. I crossed my fingers and hoped I would remain in good health until I could become a company employee. That didn't work out for me.
I have survived this far on a bit of savings. I've been frugal and managed to make those savings last for almost a year. However, those savings would have barely made a dent in providing for medical testing which is what I needed most. The choice was always; do I pay the house payment or do I lose the house and go to the doctor. I no longer have a choice.
Along with my savings, I receive a decent amount of child support each month. Having both child support and savings caused me to be ineligible for any form of governmental assistance. Unfortunately, most of you realize that child support alone cannot provide for the monthly bills.
I am ineligible for unemployment benefits because I am unable to return to work unless I receive medical care and get better.
There is no help to be found for me and my son that I am aware of. I've been turned away from the programs that are supposed to provide a leg up to those who need it.
Only if you have ever experienced needing a leg up will you realize how easy it truly is to fall through the cracks that exist in the programs the Republicans feel are leading us to socialism.
I can't begin to express how much I would love to get better and return to work. Even Tweety managed to express on harball tonight how important it is to be able to be a provider to those you love most. I can't believe that those who are so frightened of socialism have never once benefited from the many programs that are designed to benefit our general society. I guess they just can't make the mental connection.
So, it is with much sadness that I say goodbye for awhile. I hope to see all of you again, on the flip side, after we have elected President Obama.
It is going to be scary out here without you guys. I will have nothing but the local news and the lies they report to guage the true state of the race. I'm certain they will do their best to convince me that McCain is closing the gap. I will miss the celebration stories on November 4th.
Please know that you have one person in Florida who will be crying large tears of joy when Obama wins. A huge part of me will be with you on D-Kos even though I won't actually be here.
Thanks so much for allowing me to be a part of this community. I have so much to thank you for. My very first question here was about how to vote. I wasn't sure who my representatives were or what issues I might be voting on. I wanted to be sure my first vote was a well informed vote and you have ensured that it will be.
I will be back as soon as I can. Maybe being homeless is the ticket to getting the medical care I need. Wish me luck.
I know that it will take awhile for new policies to be put in place. It might not be soon enough for me but I can't tell you how much it means knowing that those cracks will be addressed by a man I trust to do the right thing whenever possible.
I'm going to miss you guys! Sorry for the typos. I hope you will understand why it is hard to write this. Spell check is just more than I can manage right now. I will shoot for the rec list when I return. :)