Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) said Sunday on NBC’s "Meet the Press" that he can "guarantee" a a landslide win for democrat Barack Obama on Nov. 4 by ‘laughable margins" that will be "clearly apparent to anyone with an IQ above 14" by 10 am eastern time on voting day.
McCain spoke amid signs of worsening internal poll numbers and reports of ugly and occasionally violent arguments among his staff, which has been badly outgunned in both money and manpower from day one.
"I guarantee you that two weeks from now, you will have incontrovertible proof that the idea of this being a close race is a complete fabrication of the traditional media, and I believe that Barack Obama is going to win it," McCain told moderator Tom Brokaw. "We're going to do worse than anyone could have possibly imagined in this election, my friend. We're going to lose, and we’re going to lose badly. I have a sinking feeling the networks will be able to call this one before I’ve even finished my first bran muffin that morning."
Brokaw, in an attempt to cheer the flailing candidate, pointed out that McCain was "down just 5 points in the newest Zogby poll released Sunday," with Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.) leading by just 49 percent to 44 percent among likely voters in the daily tracking poll. McCain promptly reminded viewers of Meet the Press that Zogby predicted on election day 2004 that the democratic candidate would win with 300+ electoral votes. "How'd that work out for you, Senator Kerry?" he smirked, following up by pointing out that the aggregate of national polling this week before the election showed Obama up by at least 10 points, if not more. "Even more notable, my friends," grimaced McCain, "we could be even in the national polls and Obama would still be so far ahead in the states he needs to win that I still wouldn’t stand a chance in hell of winning this thing. It’s called the Electoral College, my friends. Get used to it."
Ironically, earlier that morning Reuters reported that Obama's lead has dropped over the last three days after hitting a high of 12 points on Thursday. According to pollster John Zogby: "I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, but things appear to be trending back to McCain. His numbers are rising and Obama's are dropping on a daily basis. There seems to be a direct correlation between these tightening numbers and McCain’s new campaign tactic of admitting to people that Obama is going win handily and telling people to ‘go ahead and vote for that guy if you want.’ If I had to guess, I’d say that at this point voters are inclined to do the exact opposite of whatever Senator McCain tells them."
Despite the good news from Zogby, the Washington Post reported Sunday that: "inside the McCain campaign the atmosphere is one of grim acceptance of defeat. Top aides know they are simply too far behind to close the gap, and like their candidate they have completely given up. Resumes from top campaign staffers have been making the rounds for weeks, though few, if any, have secured post-election employment."
McCain told Brokaw in Waterloo, Iowa, that he feels "like Ben Affleck in Gigli. I mean, if I knew my campaign was going to be this bad, I would have never signed up in the first place. I can’t wait to get back to Arizona and pretend this never happened. Seriously... you and I are having this conversation this morning in IOWA. How far am I down here, now? 20, 30 points? Come on, let’s get real!"
"On the positive side of things, we are somehow still managing to be competitive in solid republican states," McCain said, "so I don't think this is going to be a Reagan-Mondale style blowout. We should be able to pull down at least 100 EVs, maybe even 150. Obviously, I choose to trust my senses as well as polls, and putting resources into democratic strongholds like North Carolina, Indiana and Virginia at this point would be sheer insanity. But you know, I’ve found that in Utah, the enthusiasm at almost all of our campaign events has been extraordinary. I see intensity out there in those crowds of dozens, sometimes hundreds of supporters, and I see their passion. In fact, I’ve decided to invite all of them to come live with me in Arizona after the election. My houses have plenty of room for all those good people of the state of Utah that have been in my corner this election season."
McCain added: "I’ve informed my staff and my supporters that we're just going to have to hold our noses and forge ahead over the next nine days, and make sure that people know that there'll be a better future for America and the world with Barack Obama as our next president. People are very worried now — very, very worried, and have every reason to be — that the republican party will try to steal this election as well. I can assure you we’ve dropped that option at this point, my friend. The polls are simply not close enough to hide any funny business this time around, despite Karl’s insistence that he can pull it off."
On the endorsement of Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.) by former Secretary of State Colin Powell, McCain said: "Yeah, that pretty much sucked. I mean, I’ve been endorsed by five former secretaries of state who I admire enormously, but it seems that no one remembers who they are anymore."
McCain also acknowledged the Republican National Committee’s purchase of $150,000 worth of clothing and jewelry for Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin and her family. "She lives what I thought was a frugal life on the surface," he said. "She and her family didn’t appear to be wealthy at first, and since we didn’t vet them at all, I had no idea how well-off they really are. She certainly didn’t let on that she could afford the clothes herself when we suggested we update her wardrobe for the national stage... But she’s a maverick, you know, and she is a role model for the millions and millions and millions of Americans who strive to someday have someone else buy 150 large - is that how the kids say it these days? - worth of fashion accessories for them."
McCain appeared in a gracious mood, saying to Brokaw at the end: "I appreciate your many years of informing the American people, even if these last few months of filling in on Meet the Press are proving to be a pathetic, low-note capstone for your otherwise distinguished career in journalism. You've come a long way from South Dakota, Tom. Fortunately, you still have never learned how to ask a follow-up question. Unfortunately, it clearly wasn't enough in the end, but thanks anyway for the help."