We've all heard that journalists are just that, right? They're not supposed to question, investigate, or think, really, just journal.
What would happen if they just cut out the middle man? Who needs the journalists when the campaign can just hand you the journal?
Like a 13 year old girl riffing on unicorns, here is a silly little entry from Bill McInturff, via Mike Allen from the Politico.
I'll give you the gist: Republican pollster proclaims huge turnout this year, which will naturally favor...
wait for it...
John McCain.
Of course, the source for this insight is a Republican pollster. The thing is, Mike Allen does essentially no other work. No interviews from other pollsters, none that even support these claims. No interviews from anyone saying how turnout has affected past elections. No call to a professor or social scientist or economist concerning the possible number of "Wal-Mart moms" hailed by said pollster as the savior of McCain. Astounding.
The following from the second half of the "article"
"The campaign is functionally tied across the battleground states ... with our numbers improving sharply," he wrote. "The race has moved significantly over the past week, closing to essentially tied. ... [W]e are witnessing an impressive ‘pop’ with Independent voters."
McInturff said these gains have come from "Non-college men," "Rural voters, both men and women, "Right-to-life voters" and "soft Democrats."
"[O]ur long identified target of ‘Walmart women’ – those women without a college degree in households under $60,000 a year in income are also swinging back solidly in our direction," he wrote.
"It is not surprising we are witnessing this closing as we are finally having an opportunity to run a campaign that focuses on Senator Obama’s record on taxes and his lack of experience," McInturff added.
"This has been the week where ‘Joe the Plumber’ has literally become a household name. ... The campaign’s relentless focus has helped strengthen our margins on the issue of taxes and broadened as well to the attribute of handling the economy and jobs."
As a sign of hope, McInturff added: "There is more elasticity in this campaign than is imagined."
McInturff says he believes that "older, downscale, more rural, and ... economically stressed" voters who "are quite negative about the direction of country and seek change ... have significant hesitations about Senator Obama’s experience and judgment."
"[I]t is my sense these voters WILL vote in this election and WILL break decisively in our direction," he wrote.
"Senator Obama’s numbers are different than anything we have ever seen before among African Americans. In most polls, McCain is losing these African American voters by margins like 97% to 1%."
"[T]his means the only undecided/refuse to respond voters are white and Latino," McInturff said. "I am becoming increasingly persuaded it will be very difficult for Senator Obama to perform much above his percentage of the vote in a state. This puts any number of historically red states very much ‘in play’ and MUCH more competitive than is generally believed by the media."
Insane. Paragraph after paragraph of quote, with a dash of paraphrasing sprinkled in between.
This reminds me of college, when buddies would ask me to write papers for them.
Mike Allen: Hey Bill, Mike Allen here. Yeah, I know we talked a couple days ago about that turnout piece, but things are getting crazy over here. Could you just write something up and send it to me? Whatever you want, as long as its some kind of take on turnout. Make it edgy and counter-intuitive.
Bill McInturff: No problem, Mike. Want me to interview anyone else for you?
Mike Allen: No, you know what you're talking about. Make sure I get it back by 3. John Harris is really busting balls over here.
Bill McInturff: Sure thing.