I was born and raised in New Jersey, the greatest state since America. And I don't know nuthin about its politics - until now that is. My boy Joey Two Bit asked me the other day "Paulie O, what's the state flag of New Jersey?" I told him "I don't friggin know!" "Where's our capital located?" Same thing - "I don't have a damn clue!" But you know what I do know? I know Jon Bon Jovi kicks serious butt. I'm not talking Springsteen size butt, I'm not talking Sinatra size butt, I'm talking the 1986 Super Bowl winning Giants combined with the entire cast of The Sopranos (minus that RAT Sal Bonponseiro) kind of butt. That's what I'm talking about!
And ever since 5th District Congressman Scott Garrett started sprinting away from the press, I learned something for the first time about our great state's politics: Jon Bon Jovi was writing his classic rock ballad "Runaway" about a premonition he had of Scott Garrett getting defeated in an election day upset by Dennis Shulman! Just look at this video that mixes "Runaway" with a clip of Garrett in usual form. It's almost like Jon's song writing process was translated directly onto screen. And I always thought the song was about a young female who ditched her family. But with lines like "Ooh, shes a little runaway, Daddys girl learned fast, All those things he couldnt say" there's pretty much no mistaking Scott Garrett was Bon Jovi's muse the whole time! Scott Garrett, "running away" from his obligations as a public servant, quickly learns that his "Daddy", or 5th District constituents, "cannot say" his name at the polls any longer. No, they are voting for Dennis Shulman this time. My boy Denny S. is the Man at the Top, The Untouchable, the Don of Dons. You heard it here people, Scott Garrett is a little runaway and Dennis Shulman is kicking butt, taking names, and winning NJ-5 on Novembah 4th!!!